DF’s early Xmas miracle & preview of RESCHEDULED LA Derby Dolls Champs Bout (Sirens v. Swarm, 12/10/11)


So you remember how last week DF was all like “Oh, hey, you should totally go to the LA Derby Dolls champs bout because it’s going to be awesome?” Oh, you don’t remember? Well, that’s embarrassing. For you, that is.

But I totally did say that, as you can see here, and at the time I wrote it it was true. Then fate, or more accurately, the jefe of a Venezuelan meth cartel, a monocled diamond magnate from Monte Carlo, and Sasquatch intervened. You see, on my various global travels and travails this past year, I made many friends, but also an enemy or two (or three, or frankly more than I can freakin’ count), and while the aforementioned trio hardly has much to say to each other, they can apparently at least agree that DF deserved to be abducted and imprisoned in an abandoned ice-cream hut in outer Manitoba.

My various assembled international enemies were fixing to do me it, you see, but thanks to a combination of own natural slipperiness [You mean the fact that you constantly sweat profusely.–ed.] and the fact that during convalescence from a particularly nasty coccyx bruise I watched every episode of MacGyver, I managed to escape my Canadian carcel of doom and hitch a ride with enough doped-up transcontinental truckers to land back in LA just this past Sunday. This was all really a blast, but when my feet touched Angeleno soil, I realized that my kidnapping had caused me to miss the LADD Champs Bout, originally scheduled (italix = hint) for last Sat, Dec 3.

Then, do you know what happened? A real life, according to Hoyle, early-ass Christmas miracle! For it turns out that for reasons totally unconnected to DF (I swear) a massive power outage scuttled plans to have the Champs bout throw down on Sat Dec 3, and the bout was blessedly rescheduled for Saturday December 10, when DF can, saints be praised, and will (obv.) fortuitiously attend.

So you’ll remember this from last week’s preview (or if you don’t you damned well should):

“For the first time since 2008, a team other than the three-time defending champion Tough Cookies will win top honors. The Sirens present a compelling storyline. On the declivity since their back-to-back appearances in Champs back in 07/08, the policeladies rebounded from a dismal 2010 season to recapture their elite form of old. Also compelling are the Swarm, Buffalo Bills-esque in their repeated runner-upitude. Certainly the derby gods would not be so cruel to send them to a third straight Champs bout loss (right, o derby gods?). If you’re a betting sort, keep in mind that the Sirens beat the Swarm in their only head-to-head matchup of 2011. But also if you’re a betting sort, keep additionally in mind that the Swarm roll into Champs on a hottie-McHot three-game winning streak.”

Well, it’s all still true, except that now LADD Champs will go down on the much more DF-hospitable date of Saturday, December 10. Fun preview still here, some (but not many!) tix available here. Better late than never, party peeps. C U @ Doll Fac this Sat fo reelz.

Photo/credit: Bout art by Jamela Anderson. Photo by Snap Shock. (C) 2011 by LA Derby Dolls. All rights reserved.