From the LA Times:

In a move that trims $8.5 million off the Lakers’ payroll, [Vladimir] Radmanovic was sent Saturday to the Charlotte Bobcats for a pair of third-year pros — forward Adam Morrison and guard Shannon Brown.

This gives us a nice opportunity to dust off Adam Morrison’s Five Stages of Grief from the archives in his honor:

Welcome aboard, Adam.

Pre-game warm-up. DF sits impatiently in the southbound 101 traffic. Don’t these goddamned slow-ass motorists realize they’re interrupting an important mission? After a year and a half of talking a big game about taking on the all-you-can-eat right field pavilion at Dodger Stadium, DF is finally going to step up to the plate and match his appetite to the onslaught of low-end ballpark chow that lies in wait.

Top of the first inning. Running late. At ticket gate. Let’s see: the price for a ticket in the left-field pavilion runs $13. It includes the following free food: none. The price for a ticket in the right-field pavilion runs $40. It includes the following free food: Dodger Dogs, peanuts, nachos, popcorn, soft drinks, and bottled water. That’s a $27 difference, so let’s do the math: conservatively assuming that each of these food units average about $5 per, in order for the left-field pavilion to create savings, you’d have to eat six units of all-you-can-eat food, which would retail for $30 in the left-field pavilion. Can DF consume over $27 worth of free food? If you have to wonder about the answer to that question, you don’t know DF.

Bottom first. Arrival in all-you-can-eat pavilion (AYCEP). I pause briefly to steady myself against a support beam. Pleasure overload—the sights and smells of unlimited ballpark food have made me briefly swoony. I assume a place in line, and when I get to the front, I ask the lady for two Dodger Dogs. She serves them up with a “That’s all you got, son?” arch to her eyebrows. Oh, I’ll be back, senorita. Just you wait and see.
»continue reading Hello, Engorge Us! All-you-can-eat Pavilion @ Dodger Stadium, 9/6/08

Key Takeaways

• James wins Olympic Gold; loses own Cub Cadet Trick Shot HORSE challenge in Venice Beach Wednesday, 9/3
• PAINFUL air ball, 3:22-3:27
• Dig those funky Venice Beach drums at the 3:44 mark
• Harry Perry inexplicably nowhere to be found in video

» AP | SI

News comes today out of Shelby of Cleveland County, NC where The Star’s Sports Editor, Alan Ford and Assistant Sports Editor, Gabe Whisnant have teamed up for a provacative Point/Counterpoint article on the upcoming Lakers/Celtics NBA Finals matchup. Ford takes the Celtics-Will-Win side of the argument, while Whisnant defends the Lakers-Will-Win position. The piece is available online here for those not in the Shelby area to pick up a copy on the newsstand.

The article really should be taken in in its entirety to be considered properly, but here are some choice excerpts to give you some sense of the debate.

Ford rightfully complements both squads:

Both teams have done tremendous jobs getting to this point.

Before ultimately surmising:

Since the Celtics have the current version of the Big Three – Garnett, Allen and Pierce – I think that gives them an edge over Kobe Bryant and Co.

For his take, Whisnant offers an handy mnemonic to summarize the Lakers advantage:

To me, this series comes down to two “B’s” … backcourt and bench. I give the advantage to Los Angeles in both aspects.

…then arrives at the conclusion that seals the Celtics fate:

…(B)ut when the “Zen Master” Jackson gets to the finals he usually doesn’t lose.

There you have it.

Also, just a reminder the The Star’s World’s Greatest Dad contest is accepting entries through 6/30/08. Right now, Donald Cantrell has a lead of nearly 1,000 votes over the next closest entrant in a field of 14. He stands to take home the prize valued at over $170 which includes:

a men’s watch from Arnold’s Jewelry, bird feeder from Cleveland Lumber, 18 holes of golf at Riverbend YMCA Golf Club and two $10 gift certificates to Jackson’s Cafeteria.

Best of luck, dads.

The Lakers and Spurs open the NBA Western Conference Finals tonight at Staples Center.

Tip off for the game is scheduled for an early 6:00 pm PST start in order to maximize the national television viewing audience. Factoring in for driving, parking and beer, getting in your ass in your seat by 6:00 is going to be tough anyway you slice it.

It’s looking like UCLA may have nabbed a big man to fill the void in the middle left by Kevin Love. The highly touted 6′10″ 275 lb. Center J’Mison “Bobo” Morgan out of Dallas has been granted a release from his LSU LOI and looks set to sign on as a Bruin next year, reports the Times. (If “J’Mison ‘Bobo’” isn’t the single greatest first name/nickname combo ever, then I don’t know what is.)

One can hear the Pauley student section chant now: Let’s go, Bo-bo! CLAP-CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! Let’s go, Bo-bo! CLAP-CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP! Etc.

Given this serendipitous development, K. Love’s quick split for the NBA may just turn out to be a blessing if it played any part in helping sway Bobo to come Westwood. Add him to #2 national recruit Jrue Holiday starting at guard in next year’s lineup, and the Bruins are shaping up to make another deep run at a banner–so long as they can Get. Bobo. The. Ball–no mean feat with Howland’s sketchy offensive X’s & O’s.

TANGENTIALLY RELATED

Vin Scully & John Wooden @ Nokia Theater (Scully & Wooden, together at last, “For The Kids”) Fri 6/13

That’s right motherfuckas! I am Live-Blogging Superbowl XLII Presented by Planters Instinctively Good From My Couch. Latest at the bottom.

325pm
Jordan Sparks Sings The National Anthem. Commercial break. LET US TAKE STOCK OF THE SITUATION.

Tivo Remote CHECK
Queso CHECK
Smokies CHECK
Beer CHECK
Wine CHECK
LA Minis – sloppy joes – CHECK
Pizzas CHECK
»continue reading I am Live-Blogging Superbowl XLII From My Couch

NEWS

Lakers Pickup Gasol, Unload Kwame, Javaris

INSIGHT AND ANALYSIS

I like this move. I like a move that plugs a 7 footer and his 19 and 9 to the lineup in one fell swoop. And I especially like any move that ends with Kwame, his $9 mil a year, and his oven mitt hands in a different time zone.

Besides having just about the most awesome-sounding first name ever, Javaris (just say it a few times to yourself aloud—“Ja-VAR-is”—see what I mean—and, sure, “Pau” its own right is a pretty sweet name—like POW!—but it’s no Javaris) Crittenton has shown some spark to breakout as a star, so that’s a loss that could very well come back to haunt us. He has a ton of headroom on his game, but now he can develop on someone else’s dime, while we run for a title today.
»continue reading Lakers Pickup Gasol, Unload Kwame, Javaris

It’s early in the season, but an intervention needs to be staged. A style intervention. No, I’m not referring to Russell Westbrook’s “flaming mohawk”:

No, I am referring now to Kevin Love’s–heretofore refered to as “K. Love” in perpetuity, barring any future Mata-Real-style surname appendages–and his pencil-thin 3-in-1 sideburns/beard/Van Dyke facial hair:
»continue reading Bruin B-Ball Report: Hair Follies

6:47pm. November 17, 2007. DF prowls the streets of Echo Park on a brisk Saturday eve. This time, however, my goal is not to find a bodega that sells my favorite brand of imported Oaxacan mescal, but something even more exotic and forbidden. I take a quick left off Temple, and – oh, glorious! – dead ahead lies The Doll Factory, the steaming, teeming site that will house tonite’s contest involving the fierce yet somehow also adorable ladies of the L.A. Derby Dolls.

6:50pm. Outside the venue, a helpful gentleman security professional reminds us that guns, knives, or other implements of violence are prohibited inside. Dang. I return to my vehicle, dump off assorted assault weapons, and retrace my steps, feeling far less safe. When will the lefty-loon gun control commies learn? Guns don’t kill hard-hitting rollerchicks; bullets do.
»continue reading Bitches on Wheels: L.A. Derby Dolls @ The Doll Factory, 11/17/07

A) “No, seriously. I really think the Dodgers can win a championship with us.”

B) “Do you think I should grow back the ’stache?”

3) _________________________________.

Little known fact: I am an athlete. I not only practice ath, I am in fact quite adept at it. Much as high school mathletes are reknown nationwide for their skills at math, so am I reknown for my prowess at ath. I practice ath here. I practice ath there. I practice ath everywhere. I would practice ath with a goat and I would: I would practice ath on a boat. To be sure, I am an athlete in every sense of the word. Saturday prior I found myself three cocktails into yet another athletic endeavour: the dreaded front eight at Chavez Ridge. Join our group as we relive the moment today, won’t you.

Chavez Ridge – Elysian Park
Course Established: 2006
Description: Eucalyptus covered ridge and hillsides with steep dropoffs and spectacular views of Dodger Stadium and downtown skyline. Climb uphill trail and cross ridge road to 9th tee on opposite hillside.

Remember this part because it will be important:

steep dropoffs

11am:Five athletes assemble in the parking lot. I polish off a burrito de pastor and belch mightily. Our guide this morning sports a mischievous grin behind a robust beard, twinkling eyes and two thermoses of bloody mary. He shakes one and takes a hefty swig. Let’s do this.
»continue reading Chavez Ridge: The Front Eight

Kobe Bryant lascia i Lakers. L’annuncio era nell’aria da diverse settimane, ma ora dalle pagine del suo sito internet arriva la conferma sotto forma di lettera scritta di suo pugno nella quale spiega le motivazioni di addio che rende, parole sue, questo giorno “surreale”. Modi diversi di vedere la competizione, le ambizioni di Kobe non corrispondono più a quelle dei Los Angeles Lakers: “Ho voglia di vincere”.

da website di Kobe:

“Quando ami qualcosa tanto quanto io amo i Lakers, è duro immaginare di essere da un’altra parte. Ma l’unica cosa che non sacrificherò mai, quando si parla di basket, è la vittoria. E’ tutto chiaro, semplice. E’ nel mio Dna, è quello che mi spinge a lavorare nel modo più duro possibile. Più penso al futuro e più mi convinco che io e i Lakers abbiamo due visioni differenti”.

Just a reminder, this Sunday’s Mother Day home game versus the Reds is Lip Gloss Day at Dodger Stadium. Courtesy of Smashbox Cosmetics, the first 25,000 thru the turnstyles will get a free lip gloss. No word on what shades or finishes (shimmer, cream or sheer, per the Smashbox website) will be available.

Boys, be sure to ask for yours when you come on in. If you are denied your lip gloss, start crying and make a big scene and have daddy threaten a discrimination suit. You just might earn yourself a seat upgrade. Speaking of seats, some great ones are still available in the Baseline VIP section ($200).

On a related note, no photo is yet available of the bobblehead for the forthcoming Russell Martin Bobblehead day, August 2nd. However Russell Martin fans and bobblehead enthusiasts surely are encouraged by the recent Normar Garciaparra bobblehead (pictured at right), which captured his likeness with breathtaking accuracy.
 

Name: Unknown
Descent: Hispanic
Sex: M
Height: 5′11″
Weight: 190 pounds
Wanted For: Robbery / Takeover / Hijack

Latino male…check
6 foot, buck ninety…check
Dodgers lid…check

Detectives, you may want to bring in a certain utility infielder from a certain local sports team to the station for questioning.

Ramon Martinez Player Info
More info from the LAPD

Signing a proven performer to a 3-year contract extention, The Los Angeles Dodgers kick off the 2007 campaign by bringing back California Pizza Kitchen (”CPK”) to continue serving up individual-sized pizzas at Dodger Stadium consessions. The partnership is particularly apropos as “CPK” was founded in Los Angeles–just three years before the Dodgers last World Series Championship in 1988. From the press release:

Baseball fans will be treated to the hugely popular CPK pizzas they have come to love and crave, but until recently, could not find during one of their favorite sporting events. Now, America’s top pastime and food favorite are available together.

The disclosed terms of the deal call for BBQ Chicken, Pepperoni and Cheese varities of “CPK” pizzas to be offered in the field, loge, reserve sections as well as outfield pavillions. Cheap seat Top Deck customers will get nothing and like it.

It was not known at press time if the scrumptious new Mango Tandoori Chicken pizza–pictured above, with grilled tandoori chicken, mango, mild onions, red peppers and Mozzarella cheese on a SPICY Golden Curry sauce, topped with fresh cilantro and a sweet mango chili sauce–will be made available at Dodger Stadium at a future date, but one can hope.

32 Balls: $2
15 minutes: $10
30 minutes: $17
60 minutes: $30
90 minutes: $45
Smashing a line drive through the back window: $100 (and worth every cent)

Baseball Central
1858 S. La Cienega Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90035
(310) 559-9782

Apparently Frank McCourt doesn’t go to Dodger Stadium the ghetto way…by my house.

Or this would be gone too.

Not that I care about the baseball…and I love the Anaheim Angels’ logo… it’s all Red and pretty and there’s something devilish about that font…the two little points on the side of the A, then they go and cap it with a halo… but seriously….

The entire route to Dodger Stadium on Sunset Boulevard is a huge visual FU to the Dodgers. Every single bus ad is this logo. Most billboards are this logo. It’s kind of like gang tagging in someone else’s neighborhood. And to top it all off….there was a HUGE billboard across from the entrance to Dodger’s Stadium on Sunset and Elysian Park.

That lasted about a week.
»continue reading Photo Op: Entrance to Dodger Stadium

Inspired by the promise of free Arby’s Curly Fries for America, Matt Kenseth defended his Auto Club 500 title Sunday at California Speedway.

And as outlined in their Matt’s Monday promotion, Arby’s will give away free medium Curly Fries on Monday.

“Matt has extra incentive to win for America,” said Chris Kuehn, Senior Vice President of National Marketing, Arby’s Restaurant Group, Inc. “We’re expecting a lot of Matt’s Monday celebrations and plan to give away plenty of Curly Fries.”

“I’ve been a fan of Arby’s since I was a kid and Curly Fries are a big favorite,” said Matt Kenseth. “This motivates me to bring it home for the fans.”

»continue reading Kenseth, Curly Fries Lovers Win at Auto Club 500