On the LAm: Shoshana Shambi
Name: Shoshana Shambi
Height: 5’ 8″
Weight: 170 pounds
Wanted For: Insurance Fraud and Defrauding the Department of Motor Vehicles
When you look like LaToya Jackson circa 1991, you gotta take advantage. First, head over to the DMV and get your new drivers license. If they ask for an alternative form of identification break out a copy of LaToya’s Bad Girl album. While you’re waiting for your ID, have an accomplice load up on Bodily Injury Liability, Medical Payments and Collision Insurance. Once everything’s in place, ram the shit out of your partner’s car and get the hell out of Dodge. Live it up with your share of the claim money while you can, because the real present day LaToya has psychic powers and knows exactly where you’re hiding out.