A Jig for St. Pat’s: The Losanjealous St. Patrick’s Day Boozing Guide
A-Tiddly, Diddle-Tee Dee!,
The luck o’ the Irish to Ye!
Ta-Dee, DeeDee, DEEE!,
Ta-Dong, Da-Da-DONNNG!,
A-Diddly, Diddly, DONG!, (Ta-Dee).
A-Tiddly, Diddle-Tee Dee!,
T’will be Bushmills-on-ice for Thee!
Ta-Dee, DeeDee, DEEE!,
Ta-Dong, Da-Da-DONNNG!,
A-Diddly, Diddle-Dee, DONG!, (Ta-Dee).
As you lather up with Irish Spring and venture forth this evening, remember ye golden rule of cultural beer-sales-driven holidays: ONLY MEXICAN BARS AT ST PAT’S, ONLY IRISH PUBS AT CINCO DE MAYO. You know this. Repeat it to yourself eighty times before you walk out that door this evening. Once for each snake St. Patrick smote with a stick his first thirty metres.
Now then! On to the evening bar guide. Brief but effective. Look for the drunk, blurry leprechaun giving you the finger seal of approval for your best chance at a normal place to take the bite off another work week:
| Westside | |
| Losanjealous recommends you get plastered at: | Losanjealous recommends you wholeheartedly avoid: |
| Cock and Bull | Finn McCool’s |
| Magic Johnson’s TGIFriday’s | O’Brien’s (Main Street) |
| Joker
|
O’Dickums |
| Red Garter | Brennan’s |
| The Talpa | Patrick Molloy’s |
| Fairfax | |
| Losanjealous recommends you get plastered at: | Losanjealous recommends you wholeheartedly avoid: |
| El Carmen | Tom Bergin’s House of Irish Chafing |
| Snakepit (bring stick for smiting) | Molly Malone’s |
| Monroe’s | St. Nick’s |
| Losanjealous recommends you both go to and avoid: | |
| Canter’s | |
| Hollywood / Li’l Armenia | |
| Losanjealous recommends you get plastered at: | Losanjealous recommends you wholeheartedly avoid: |
| Coach and Horses | Cat & Fiddle |
| GrAsshopper | Three Clubs (clubs :: shamrocks) |
| Power House | Pig ’n’ Whistle |
| Blacklight | La Poubelle |
| Koreatown | |
| Losanjealous recommends you get plastered at: | Losanjealous recommends you wholeheartedly avoid: |
| Prince | Nowhere! |
| OB Bear | |
| Dansungsa | |
| For The Good Time | |
| Rosen Brewery | |
| Frank ’N’ Hank’s | |
| Zip | |
| HMS Bounty | |
| Anyplace whatsoever | |
| Far East/Atwater/Glendale/Pasadena | |
| Losanjealous recommends you get plastered at: | Losanjealous recommends you wholeheartedly avoid: | Footsie’s | Tam O’Shanter Inn |
| Red Lion Tavern | |
| Bigfoot Lodge | |
| Damon’s
|
McMurphy’s |
| 35er | Moose McGillishiddy’s |
| San Gabriel Valley | |
| Losanjealous recommends you get plastered at: | Losanjealous recommends you wholeheartedly avoid: |
| The Venice Room | Anything that looks suspiciously Irish. These are Chinese waters! |
| Bahooka | |
| San Fernando Valley | |
| Losanjealous recommends you get plastered at: | Losanjealous recommends you wholeheartedly avoid: |
| Corbin Bowl | Ireland’s 32 |
| Blue Room |
|
Me? I’ll be making a brief appearance at every single bar on this page. I’m Irish. Ta-Diddly-Dong-Dee! See you out there. Hire a driver.
