TofuFest ‘Live’ Blog

superfood1A few notes from le Fest du Tofu, wherein the Losanjealous SuperFoodFriends convened to form the solid mass of energy known as SuperFoodFriend-1:

  1. I tried to connect to the 2006 Los Angeles Tofu Festival WiFi Signal. I was 50% connected. Alas I Could Not Post.
  2. Following the Volunteer Booth’s advice I searched for Technical Help. The Little Tokyo Wi-Fi Booth was vacant. A sign in the Little Tokyo WiFi booth read, “Thanks for trying the scavenger hunt! See you tomorrow!”
  3. I halfheartedly attempted to utilize 40-odd downtown WiFi signals a la Johnny Lee Miller circa 1996.
  4. Numerous SuperFoodFriends had a problem writing, aka WRITING, with pen-and-ink on spiral with Pilot Precise V5 Black Ink pen.
  5. Shane sported a hell of a nice tie. He also sported his own favorite analogue pen, which I wholeheartedly respect.

So then. Losanjealous condones the Tofu Festival. Here are our notes:

Samosa Mel: Ok. All my dishes were more or less the same…spongey, blandish with yummy sauce. My most memorable experience was the portable restroom where a multitude of digested cuisine was on display. (Sorry, Ryan.)

tofu sausage saladCaptain Tim The Receptacle Tim: Tofu Cutlet! Tofu Cutlet! Tofu Cutlet! From the Curry House, but not served at the Curry House…(scribbled drawing of angry face)!…Tofurkey sausage salad, nasty (the onions and bell peppers – best part of that dish)…Soy burrito – very good but small…the turkey tofu meatball sandwich was like soggy mushy turkey with too much sauce. Barley tea (nothing like beer but more like tea). Beer good. Gump bad. Beat up car w/myspace stickers?!? Why!? Parking four blocks away for $4 but smelled like pee! Tofu Festival: Asians Represent!

“Phil’er Up Until I’ve Had My Phil” Phil: Let’s see, I had the Tofu Tostada, the Tofurkey Sausage, the BBQ Tofu, Tofu Pate, and Fried Tofu. My favorite out of them all was the Kirin Beer.

For The Love Let’s Just Hope TofuFest Is Better Than Gilroy’s Garlic Anjie: This is not my beautiful house (brand tofu). This is not my beautiful wife. This is not a tofu pasta salad. Two chunks of bread – somewhere between sourdough and a hamburger bun – hugging lettuce and portobello mushrooms doen not sound like tofu, pasta OR salad (any one of which would negate my argument). Ok, the purveyor of soy-baked goods misheard me. I got some kind of soybread veganwich. Tasty – in an “I didn’t order this” way. I plan to get over my disappointment with a handful of tomato-herb PROTONS (dehydrated tofu munchies), lychee/soy custard and green tea wine – the most sinful way to get your antioxidants. I didn’t say tasty. Just sinful. What would Boz Skaggs do?

I looked for the Okinawa donuts but only found Whore Soy (photo coming soon). Some six-year-old led me to “Soul Folks Cafe” where I was able to buy fried chicken and beans for the whole table. Unfortunately the soy “tofu” jerky made me gag…and that’s sayin’ somethin’.

Intern Shane:
Tofufest 2006 was a huge hit with a great turnout of tofu lovers. Some of the highlights of tofufest were the tofu curry, Whore Soy, coconut milk, and the soy shumai. Really though, I’m biased as I am lactose intolerant and have learned to love all things soy. The low point of Tofufest was undoubtedly the cup of green tea wine which was passed around the losanjealous camp. It aroused a wretch I have not felt in ages.

Losanjealous Victor: Tofuckingtastic. … What is this!? I am a blogger…this pen and ink shit is so nineteenth century

Mystery People Samosa Mel Corralled To The Table:
Tofu tostada was GREAT! Beer was great, sake was great everything else was ok.

Losanjealous Ryan: Christ, I’m boozed up™ again. Tofu is tasteless so it all tastes good. Where the hell is the tofu chili and the tofeatloaf? Don’t see either.