Photo Op: Total Assholes Behind Jerry’s Deli

By Ryan - Sunday October 22nd 2006

seagulls are total assholes.

Seagulls that are assholes are marked with an asterick.

When it comes to birds in LA, seagulls are the biggest assholes of the lot. Nothing you can say will ever convince me otherwise. Chances are very high that each and every one of the birds in this photo is a total prick. These assholes were spotted dumpster diving behind Jerry’s Deli on Beverly near La Cienega. What a bunch of assholes. Look how they fly straight toward me menacingly, while one asshole guards the perimeter between the dumpsters. Fuck off, you are all a bunch of assholes.

Birds with a “*” demarcation above are assholes.
Total asshole-to-bird ratio: 100%

What now?

7 Responses to “Photo Op: Total Assholes Behind Jerry’s Deli”

Andy : 10/22/06 at 1:31 pm

This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
cybele : 10/22/06 at 4:55 pm

Anatomically speaking, they’re cloacas … birds have one hole that expells everything (shit, urine and eggs). I don’t know if it make you feel any better that they’re three times the assholes you originally thought.
Jumpcut : 10/22/06 at 8:30 pm

I disagree. The bird on the bottom looks like he’s just standing there mindng his own business, and maybe even a litle embarassed by the demeanor of his so-called “friends.”

Don’t stereotype all gulls into the same flock.

BTW — “MV” Pete had better start upping his pithy comment level or he’ll have to relenquish his Best Commenter throne.
Will Campbell : 10/22/06 at 9:26 pm

Those punks give Jonathan Livingston a bad name! But an equal patooey on whoever left the lids on the dumpsters up and enabled such rude behavior.
Pete : 10/23/06 at 2:28 am

Seagulls attacking you? It’s a sign, Ryan. Move to Utah.
cokane : 10/23/06 at 9:47 am

I don’t know who you are, Ryan, but I became an instant fan after reading this! Hilarious!
V. : 10/23/06 at 12:32 pm

We don’t know who Ryan is either, Cokane. If you find out, let us know, will you?