CITY PLAGUED WITH FROZEN VAPOR DEPOSIT

WEST HOLLYWOOD (Losanjealous) :::Panic-stricken residents fled the Losanjealous basin Thursday morning as deposits from vapors, cooled from the air, formed a thin, patchy white layer upon ground and cars alike.

“We’re dismayed, yet admittedly intrigued by this morning’s frozen vapor deposit,” offered one local resident who stayed in the area and requested anonymity. “We’re not yet sure what to do with this new menace, but are at present collecting as much of the patchy deposit as possible and considering preserving it in a sort of primitive yakhchal — which we’ll have to build from sand, clay, egg whites, lime, goat hair and ash, all in specific proportions — for future generations to enjoy time and again.”

SWEET JESUS ICE HAS ARRIVED WHAT NOW?Above: Losanjealous reader 239987 reels at the air-cooled, thin, patchy layer of vapor deposit found on his car at Melrose and Crescent Heights Thursday morning