And on the lighter side, from the fair & balaced news source:

Customs officials say they got a surprise when they found 316,000 glass bongs disguised as Christmas ornaments at the Los Angeles harbor.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection said Thursday that agents found the highly decorated drug pipes in 860 boxes shipped from China. The cargo, estimated to be worth more than $2.6 million, had been described as glass figures and Christmas ornaments.

Surely there’s some hacky joke to be found in this story, involving Santa Claus, chimneys, smoke and possibly Bill Clinton. Get ON IT, Jay’s staff of 25 writers.

Image courtesy of the fine journalists at WHAT-A-BONG.com.

News from Ireland Online:
»continue reading BREAKING, HIGHLY IMPORTANT NEWS: John Kerry’s Daughter Arrested in Hollywood on DUI Charges

Full photo gallery below.
»continue reading Exclusive Photos: UC Regents Fee Hike Protest at UCLA

We know this isn’t Berkeley, but where’s the good old fashion protest mass arrest? Only eight students were arrested at the UC Regents meeting at UCLA. That’s a pretty weak showing considering the Regents may raise student fees over a whopping 30%–or $2,500–next year according to LAT blogman Larry Gordon who’s on the scene at UCLA.

UPDATE 1:23 pm: The 32% fee hike has been approved.

As we close in on Miller Time around these parts, here’s a round up of a few of the day’s top stories that for one reason or another your humble editors considered–but ultimately rejected–for individual posts today.

― Authorities search for robbers who made a Gold Line getaway
God bless, The News. Never one to let the small details of the story pass up a good catchy alliterative headline. If you actually read the story, you will see that the crime was a stolen cellphone. Not to down play it if it was your phone that was swiped, but with the breathless headlines of robbers on this you’d think it was a bank heist or something big.

― Disputes Continue Over Jackson Estate and Public Memorial
NYT finally jumps into the mix to solve our Michael Jackson funeral costs debacle. First comment out of the box about sums it up:

PLEASE (Yes-I’m screaming) Can we stop talking about this family? Yikes.
— Francine

― DA announces new tool to combat dog fighting
FINALLY, a 24-hour dog fighting hot line. (877) NO-2-FITE. HOW many times have I witnessed a dog fight at 4 a.m. and thought if only there was a number I could call to stop this dog fight. Standing $5,000 reward for information leading to the arrest or conviction of individuals involved in dog fighting. Cock fighting is still OK.

― Prolific ‘BMW bandits’ steal parts from more than 50 luxury cars on the Westside
Wait a minute… Something’s not right here…. BMW’s? On the Westside? What are the odds?

― Aprons are no longer for the matronly
And, on the lighter side, Sabrina Enayatulla, our favorite LA Muslim Women’s Style Examiner, breaks it down for us on aprons.

Hollywood Spider-Man impersonator caught in legal web – LA Times

Spider-Man Entagled By Superheroes In Blue – LA Weekly

Officers Investigate Spidey-Senseless Act – NBC Los Angeles

Our favorite, though, is this oddly poetic entry:

Heroes turn villains on the boulevard of broken noses – Brisbane Times

Brisbane?

PHOTO: Mel Melcon, Los Angeles Times, November 11, 2009

Nice piece on Fender in today’s Times Business section. A visit to the Corona manufacturing plant has all kinds of guitar nerd details. I do, however, wish that the writer would have probed them a bit more on the wide disparities between the Corona-made and Mexican-made models. If you want to kill some time, check out our Fender Jazzmaster archive which we have been told is one of the biggest online collection of shots of active artists using the popular guitar with the patented offset body.

Jazzmaster shot by Sung from Thom’s recent Orpheum Theater show.

TORRANCE (Losanjealous):: Former Mayor Dan Walker assumed things were all shored up once he agreed to pay for the costs associated with the installation of a 300-lb. bronzed frog he donated to the city with a stipulation that it be placed in Miramar Park, according to today’s Daily Breeze cover story:

Called “Dreaming of the Kiss,” the sculpture is an early work by Sedona, Ariz.-based artist Kim Kori, who specializes in charming sculptures of small animals with human attributes. Only 16 of this particular piece were cast and one recently sold for $30,000.

Not everyone in the sprawling seaside community is hopped up over the smug, arms-crossed, fully bronzed former tadpole and potential park resident (pictured), however, including Vista Bahia Home Owners Association President Chris Alan Michalski:

“While beautiful, it belongs in an appropriate environment where all may understand and appreciate its merits,” Michalski [said]. “That place is not at the beach.”

»continue reading Former Torrance Mayor’s Bronzed Frog Draws Ire of Coastal Residents; Frog’s Fate in City Council Hands

Did you find ash on your car this morning? Los Angeles is on fire! Reports are saying this may be the largest fire in LA County since 1897. Back in 1897, rogue analogue cowbloggers documented the raging wildfires of the time with handmade pinhole cameras, folding Kodets and Sanderson’s Universal Swing Fronts. These days, even my dog has a digital camera. Flickr springs into action! Below find some initial 2009 coverage of the initial 2009 coverage.

From NoHo (srd515)	From Santa Clarita (DisneyKrayzie)
From Huntington Beach (slasher-fun)	From Baldwin Vista (RobHelfman)
From Santa Monica (EricF2000)	From Antelope Valley (avcellshots)

»continue reading Station Fire Photo Coverage Coverage

Mere days into its new tar-curry-and-asphalt business model, the explosive chutney-laden and aptly-named India Jones Chow Truck suffered a fate no lonchera would wish on another Wednesday prior at 5750 Wilshire Food Truck Takedown ‘09: Impound! Unsatisfied with simply slapping all manner of tickets and fines onto and into the truck and its wares, The Man opted to drag the glittering chrome-goat-milk-and-wheels box back to central for additional consumption, belches and post-tow betel nut chew. Take heart, for the story has a coconutty-sweet ending: Said truck is back on those mean Los Angeles streets as of today and Chef Sumant Pardel, having survived the ordeal in one piece, will be slinging Bombay Frankies, spicy food and various mango sundries again; very soon, in fact, with a possible appearance at this weekend’s Sunset Junction festival, according to that one website where everybody text-messages each other:

@losanjealous we r getting our truck back 2day they almost took it for 30 days… Thanx 4 awsome coverage we got in touch w/ Bobby of green

» LAPD Throwing All Manner of Fines Under the Sun At Your Fave Food Truck
» India Jones Chow Truck (official site / blog)
» http://twitter.com/indiajonesct
» Meals on Wheels: IJCT (Eater LA)

File under hearsay text messages: The following phone-to-phone transcript comes direct from our good buddy Bobby over at Green Truck On The Go (screw twitter, too much noise; tweet away but old-fashioned txtmsgs still own me end of day and he knows it). Verbatim txtscript:

FROM: Bob N/A
TO: Losanjealous Ryan’s Wireless Device
Anti-lunch truck task force action here. The cops formed one due to complaints at our museum square route, and cracked down today, throwing down fines and citing for trucks parking too close to the curb, trucks parking too far from the curb, trucks beeping whey they back up, trucks not being equipped with beepers when they back up, trucks protruding into red zones, trucks serving up sub-par food (joke) and god only knows what else. Word is that they also dished out $5000 fines – we hadn’t opened yet and avoided that bit, at least. (no citation for “failing to open in a timely fashion”?? -ed) Their stated purpose is to clear wilshire of lunch trucks.

FROM:Ryan’s Wireless Device
TO: Bob N/A
Wilsh and where??

FROM: Bob N/A
TO: Ryan’s Wireless Device
5750 Wilshire – between Curson and Masselin. Toshi’s Asian Food keeps calling the cops. 10-15 squad cars per day for the next week or two, task force to ticket trucks for anything and everything until they leave.

»continue reading DEVELOPING: LAPD Officially Tasked With Throwing All Manner of Fines Under the Sun At Your Favorite Food Truck

Also: “Cyxymu” says he was the target of an Online Attack.

Watch out for that west side traffic snarl and seek ye local watering hole. KTLA says:

SEPULVEDA PASS — A fast moving brush fire has forced the evacuation of thousands of people from the world famous Getty Center art complex in the Sepulveda pass.

The fire has burned between 30 and 40 acres of dry brush at Getty Center Drive above Sunset Boulevard west of the 405 freeway, according to Los Angeles City fire spokesman Eric Scott.

Sepulveda Boulevard has been closed between Sunset Boulevard and Mulholland Drive, near the Skirball Center due to the fire.

Some 800 staff members and several thousand visitors have been evacuated from the Getty Center, according to Getty spokesman Ron Hartwig.

» Brush Fire Forces Evacuation of Getty Center (KTLA)

Photo: Major League Eating / IFOCE

CONGRATULATIONS to Joey Chestnut, who downed an unprecedented 68 Nathan’s Famous hot dogs in 10 minutes at noon EST today, the fourth of July, at the corner of Surf and Stillwell on Coney Island, setting a new world record and keeping the Mustard Belt right here at home WHERE IT BELONGS. Fellow USA gurgitator and wig-and-vintage-ruffle-shirt-clad daytime chef Pat Bertoletti also showed remarkable prowess, downing some 55 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

Dog Count: The Top Three
Joey Chestnut…………………68
Takeru Kobayashi…………..64.5
Pat Bertoletti………………….55

Chestnut told ESPN that he plans to eat a Cobb salad with ranch dressing for dinner this evening, offering further proof that the USA can and will eat more than any other country. Never forget that. Happy 4th!

DID YOU KNOW?
Ryan is no stranger to the IFOCE judging process, having witnessed and judged a popcorn-eating contest and a chili-cheese-fry eating contest for George Shea and the IFOCE at various points in his shady past.

My favorite story this morning has nothing to do with the group of dignified fans who torched a few Staples-adjacent blocks, stole shoes and bashed some cars for good measure, following last night’s Lakers victory:

The chihuahuas, which weigh about three pounds each, had cornered the mountain lion. She says the big cat appeared to be angry and began hissing at her and foaming at the mouth.

Spray quickly called 911 and then grabbed her video camera to record a few pictures of the cornered cougar.

»continue reading Chihuahuas to Riverside Cougar: Size Doesn’t Matter

Got some sad news over the long weekend: Jay Bennett passed away in his sleep at 45 years of age, cause of death unknown. I was fortunate to catch Jay in the post-Wilco era, on tour with Ed Burch and members of Centro-matic, a few years back at the Troubadour. DeRogatis @ Chicago Sun-Times has the full story, including a statement from Jeff Tweedy. Our thoughts go out to Jay’s family and friends.

» Jay Bennett, dead at age 45 (DeRogatis – CST)

As an Oklahoma transplant here in Los Angeles last fall I took it upon myself to instigate what may, with hindsight, ultimately be considered a brutal email harrassment campaign of my friends and family from Oklahoma — those who grew up there, and those that live there still — urging them to vote for their favorite State Rock Song in an online poll. (“Vote Alice in Chains! Vote ‘Cocaine’ by Clapton, that one really screams Oklahoma! – ohshitnowaitjesus vote Jackson Browne! … ” etc ad infinitum) Following said inbox pummelling, the Flaming Lips eventually and somewhat predictably appeared victorious in the poll, their nominated 2002 hit “Do You Realize” now slated to become the first and possibly only official state rock song of Oklahoma. All ten finalists sans Jackson Browne can be found here. Where was I going with this? Oh, right:

Fuck Yeah Motherfuckers Oklahoma Has A State Rock Song. One Rodgers-and-Hammerstein-penned state song in this day and age simply doesn’t cut it. Call me selfish, but as a former resident I’d also like to see a State Country Song, State Punk Song, State Movie, State ABC Television Series, State Fast Food Chain (obvs Sonic [nasdaq: SONC]), State Domesticated Housepet, State OU-Fan-Driving-A-White-Dualie, and State Gravy. Hell, why not.

»continue reading Flaming Lips’ “Do You Realize” To Become Official Rock Song of Oklahoma In Less Than Two Minutes

Note: This is the second of two galleries (first gallery here) focusing on George Harrison’s Walk of Fame star ceremony outside Capitol Records, April 14, 2009. Full gallery and writeup after the jump.

»continue reading Capitol Records, 14 April 2009: George Harrison’s Walk of Fame Star Ceremony: The Star Is Revealed At Last

As previously mentioned, former Beatle George Harrison (1943-2001) was honored with a posthumous star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame outside Capitol Records, shortly before noon today. George is now the second Beatle to receive an individual star following John Lennon. He succombed to cancer near the end of 2001 at Paul McCartney’s house, right here in Los Angeles. Surviving wife, Olivia, and son, Dhani, accepted today’s honorary award on behalf of George.

IN THIS GALLERY: Hollywood Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Leron Gubler, Olivia Harrison, Dhani Harrison, Eric Idle, Paul McCartney, Los Angeles City Councilman Tom LaBonge, Jeff Lynne, Tom Hanks, Nancy Shevell.

Still to come: Tom Petty, the unveiling of the actual star, the footwear of your other favorite Beatle, full-on Beatlemania returns to Capitol, extensive event write-up and much more. Stick around.

UPDATE, 4/15: Full writeup now online.