EscortWatch ’07: Cast Your Vote Now!

’TheDenizens, the moment you’ve been waiting for has arrived. We have our three Escort Finalists for our Valentine’s giveaway, as chosen by Mailbot 6000’s patented Random Number Generator. All finalists were chosen from the emails sent to our designated contest email address over the last two days.

One of the finalists below will be escorted to La Bodeguita de Pico for dinner, followed by a concert this coming Saturday. Truly a night out on the town in style and, possibly, a Ford Escort. We now call upon you, the Losanjealous community of readers, to determine the fate of both the Photographer/Janitor Escort and his charge-to-be. Please, choose the winner for us.

Your votes are due no later than midnight tonight. There are two ways to vote:

  1. Send your vote to our staff of volunteer counters at Losanjealove@losanjealous.com.
  2. Submit your vote via the comment section below. It’s not confidential, but then, this isn’t exactly your typical polling place.

Without Further Ado….Let Us Meet Our Final Contestants:


Contestant #1

I am writing to you for a good friend of mine who has suffered much turmoil in her relationships this year. I know it is only February 7th, but that’s exactly what I am trying to make a point of.

Last year was a bad year for her as well. She met a man that she was incredibly interested in and couldn’t resist. Of course I was happy for her, but I secretly knew how it would turn out. She has a little bit of an OCD problem and she becomes extremely obsessive about the men she becomes interested in. First it’s the phone calls and text messages. If you’re the lucky guy who has stolen her heart you might receive about 60+ per day. Anything from how her day is going to what type of milk she should buy at the super market. Needless to say, she is a very detailed oriented person. Next comes the stalking. The more and more she gets to know a guy (which usually means after 1 to 2 dates) she starts showing up at places the guy hangs out at. Coincidentally bumping into her is never coincidental. If the guy is still in her life after all the messaging, phone calls and stalking, next comes THE TALK about babies, buying homes, future plans and meeting her Mother and Grandmother. She moves extremely fast, because she is not only OCD, but she is incredibly in love with the idea of being in a serious relationship and getting married.

These obsessive tendencies have gotten her no where. She is single now and the last guy she dated dumped her in an extremely embarrassing way. She showed up at a gig he was to perform at and in front of her friends he announced what a “psycho” she is and how people should stay away from her because she’s “crazy.” I know that her actions could be easily misinterpreted as crazy and psycho, but I see her as my good friend, and as an amazing woman, who just hasn’t met the right man yet that can provide her with all the love she needs. Regardless of what other men (and even women) say about her, I still feel that she out of everyone I’ve ever met deserves to have a great night out on the town with a smoking hot guy that will listen to her and talk to her and provide her with amazing companionship. Please consider my good friend, [redacted], because not only does she deserve it, but out of anyone you could choose, she would be the most grateful.

Thank you for your consideration!

Contestant #2

Top 10 reasons why I most deserve your food/rock services on the night of Saturday, February 10.

10. I read your blog and am an amateur photographer; we’re guaranteed to have at least a few conversation starters.

9. I’m a cheap date who’s willing to go dutch or pick up future tabs.

8. My experience with LA cuisine has been severely limited to that which South Central has to offer (fight on, Chanos); I need a sexy LosAnjealeno to show me what I’ve been missing.

7. I can rock the cliched concert-going uniform (i.e. black shirt/skinny jeans/boots) like a pro, although I prefer individuality over homogeneity.

6. No dishwasher + infinite work hours = 0 home-cooked food; one can only live on pre-packaged sustenance for so long before culinary depression sets in. Thank God the in-office gym keeps up those endorphins.

5. I’m respectably well-versed in the indierojc scene, enough at least to be able to discuss music without resorting to Top 40 allusions.

4. I’m getting back into the concert-hopping scene after a spending an almost 3-year hiatus with Summer-Blockbuster-Aficionado Boyfriend. Again, requesting assistance from the above-referenced Anjealeno.

3. I’m decent enough at lyric-memorization/tune-carrying to prevent the need to tell our fellow concert-goers that you “have never seen her before in your life.”

2. I’ll try anything once, culinary or otherwise.

1. I’ve already spent too many hours of post-grad life in a KOST-blasting office under fluorescent bulbs; in need of the warm glow of stage lights and the glorious beat of the bass to wake me from my 9-to-5 trance, if only for a lovely Saturday evening.

Contestant #3

Hey there Losanjealous

I’m the webmaster of caustictruths.com which is a website for our print magazine. We have a featured story on Manowar which is on our web site and potentially in a print edition. Your site was suggested as an addition to our very popular collection which will be useful for our visitors/readers. You can find the link to your web site here:

http://caustictruths.com/weblinks/links.htm

or

http://www.caustictruths.com/weblinks/links.htm

It will be under the category of Manowar

If you want to link back to us (always appreciated), just insert this short HTML code on your web site:

—snip—

http://www.caustictruths.com/”>CausticTruths.com

—snip—

Also, we now have free promo tools for bands and webmasters. Check it out:

First off, have your band or site post their profile where this can link back to their site. Also, these profiles can be voted by visitors which will give bookmarks higher profile on our site.

Post new band bookmarks (profiles) here:
[redacted URL]

Promote or general band/site talk, post here:

[redacted URL]

Trade or sell talk, post here:
[redacted URL]

You do not need to register for any of these functions above.

If you register, you can submit your own news, weblink, join our community of hundreds of people, send private messages, and some other stuff. Register by going here:

[redacted URL]

We are also looking for contests and sponsoring events which are promoted right within our menu system. This exposes your stuff to hundreds of daily visitors. Get in touch with [redacted] about this at [redacted]

Thanks for doing. Spread the word about this among your bands, friends, management, and who ever think would be interested.

Once confirmed, you will be able to post blogs, news, and other neat stuff. If you want to be part of our newsletter, join now for exclusive contests. All info is kept is kept private!

Drop me a line if you have any questions or comments.

Thank you,

[redacted]

So there you have it, our three finalists as chosen by Mailbot 6000 himself. Your votes are due no later than midnight tonight. Vote early and often!