A Very Special Valentine From Losanjealous and Frank Stallone


He may have been throwing it to Frankii (sic) at the time, but we’re extending this 2004-era ’Main Man’ out to the masses at large on this day of days.


  • Using ’Print This Article’ functionality, print Frankentine™ on cardstock
  • Using a scissors, remove excess paper
  • Affix Frankentine™ to fridge via magnet or masking tape
  • Download and listen to “Tonight I Celebrate My Love For You” by Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack, as loud as you can possibly stand it
  • Gaze longingly at Frankentine™
  • Guzzle two beers immediately
  • Recall fond memories of the day you strolled the shore with Losanjealous and Frank Stallone
  • Guzzle third beer, vomit if necessary

Here’s looking at you from Losanjealous and Frank Stallone. Who Loves Ya?!?