Eye On Traffic: iPhoners To Pile Additional Fucking Onto Traditionally Already-Fucked Friday Commute

Verbatim insta-message transmitted sixteen minutes ago from resident Losanjealous office lackey to my laptop here in the Sandalwood Conference Room at the Marina Del Rey Courtyard Marriott:

[10:01] intern287: Yo it’s iDay!!!
[10:01] intern287: leaving at 3 !!!!!!!!!!

No two ways about it, the iPhone seekers are bound to make things hairy this evening. The alleys are your friends. Know them intimately or stay in the minor leagues and be home by 9. Also, our offices will apparently be closing at 3pm today. Re-route deliveries accordingly.