Ode to Franken Berry®


Alas! Poor Franken Berry®. My son. I did not complete you last night before drifting off. Even now you wither away, there on the coffee table in front of me, something of a mockery, an amalgamation of what might have been and what is yet to come, your bolts intact though your wee-steam whistle and pressure gauge obviously as-yet unmined, your tiny fruit-flavored marshmallows nowhere to be found, your skin susceptible now to the dryness of the air in harsh light of morning, the lack of nutrients evident but nevertheless an important part of this balanced breakfast replete with two half-slices of buttered toast, one-half grapefruit and one cup of 2% milk.

Franken Berry.
Built by my hand; forged by my loin in the General Mills™ Foundry.
Neither man nor machine, but something altogether different comprised of the two, fortified with an essential daily combination of vitamins, minerals, corn syrup, natural and artificial flavorings.
I shall finish you yet.
You shall be. My. Legacy.