That’s So Raven! Aspiring Musician/Second-String Disney Television Actor Goes “Missing” From Studio City 7-11, Makes National Headlines, Turns Up Hours Later, Issues Unnecessarily Lengthy Statement About Needing Some Alone Time After Not Getting To Open For A Band In A Club, Makes National Headlines Again

The opacity of yesterday’s apparent “STAR MISSING” publicity stunt launched by That’s So Raven Disney actor Orlando Brown is rapidly clearing, and yet the “news” made CNN’s front page today. For this modern triumph of publicity, let us hereby declare April 24 National Orlando Brown Is No Longer Missing Day! Truly, for one brief moment we stopped reading about the fucking Democratic superdelegates, paused, wtf’d and eventually read and reread (and reread again) the alluring and wholly believable tale of an apparent That’s So Raven actor and aspiring musician previously charged with marijuana possession in Houston (one fact CNN neglected to mention), who “disappeared” following a meeting with his manager in or around an undisclosed Studio City 7-11, and then promptly turned up a few hours later following some much-needed “alone” time. Says Brown of the incident:

“I have no further comments.”

Manager Ricky Romance: We Salute You! Publicist Elayne Rivers: We Salute You!

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