Five Second Bar Review: Stinkers (Silver Lake)

I could be wrong, but I don’t think we’ve done a straight-ahead bar review on these pages since June 2006, back when wayward contributor Annie mouthed off about the Spotlight and Bar 107. Drumroll, new bar just opened, here goes nothing.

WHAT I AM WRITING ABOUT
Stinkers Truck Stop

WHY IT IS NOTEWORTHY
Stinkaz (can I get informal here?) is themed as a truck stop, and it “soft opened” (hold – how does a bar “soft open” again? Further, isn’t liquor by definition “hard” ? .. ) last Thursday. Stinkahs has mounted skunk asses on the walls. The asses spray mist on your head while you drink. Stinkezs also has a CB apparatus and a terribly loud truck horn (warning). Apparently Stinkuz also has Stinkers Ale (or similar) but they were out when we visited last Monday. Stinkers is brought to you by the man behind Bigfoot Lodge, Little Cave and Saints and Sinners. You know…theme bars. Stinkers has also been Thrillisted, Eaten and Metromixed in the last week or two so I will be brief.

WHAT I AM WATCHING WHILE I AM WRITING THIS
The Replacements on HBOHD featuring Keanu Reeves, Pat Summerall and Gene Holy Jesus Would You Look At That Juicy Mustache Hackman. Exactly how in the Christ do movies like this get made!? More pressing, why am I all of 70 minutes deep?

WHAT STINKERS GETS RIGHT ABOUT TRUCK STOPS
Hair metal songs and shiny metal walls.

WHAT STINKERS GETS WRONG ABOUT TRUCK STOPS
Missing: Adjacent coffee shop, hookers in the parking lot, mysterious day-old chimichangas under heat lamps, automotive supplies, dirty magazines, acrid coffee, confederate flags, random lids splattered with old soft drink syrup, grime, showers, pork rinds, condoms, a vast array of mini-thins and an overall filthy, charged vibe that something violent or pornographic will happen at any moment. At Stinkers, you just feel that some hipster is about to get really drunk and leave. Still, the point is that it’s a bar, so they’ve pretty much got things where they should be.

HISTORY OF THE LOCATION
This space, near the corner of Sunset and Silver Lake, previously housed Johnny’s Bar, which had no hard liquor license so you had to buy beer, wine, or cocktails made from Soju. I visited Johnny’s once, looked around and said, “Decent place, why is nobody here?” and then forgot the moment ever existed.

Prior to Johnny’s Bar, this joint was called __________ . That is to say, it had the requisite cocktail sign. It was dumpy, the jukebox was incredibly loud (think Norteño), and there were many dirty jackets and cowboy hats. In this regard, the nameless bar actually captured the vibe of a truck stop way better than Stinkers ever will, because Stinkers is polished and you just know that 80% of its clients have never seen B.J. and the Bear. Back to topic: I stumbled into the nameless bar one evening sometime around 2000, following a gig at Silverlake Lounge. An old man in a crumpled cowboy hat bought me a Corona. He did not win my affections, probably because I am straight, but we had a nice chat just the same. And then I forgot the moment ever existed.

VERDICT
All things considered, it is good to have another hard liquor provider in this area. The hipster-choked Lounge can lighten up here and hopefully take itself less seriously. And if you really need that authentic creepy truck stop vibe, just wander over to Tom’s Burgers Beef San Drive-Thru or LA Chinese Food for a breather; both are easily accessible and will deliver in filthy spades.

POSTSCRIPT
Keanu just won the game and they’re playing the Wallflowers’ cover of “Heroes”. Hackman just dodged the Gatorade! SOMETIMES, THINGS WORK OUT IN THE END. Remember that this weekend.