File under press releases that elicited many giggles this week:

Hello LosAnjealous-
Wanted to invite you to this event my client, Jenette Bras, is doing on 8/25. Jenette Bras is a luxury lingerie retailer that specializes in sizes D – K. The event is open to the public and there will be a live fittings with ample sized babes, free booze, a surprise giveaway, and more. Is this something you’d include on your blog? I’ve also included a release on the store FYI. Look forward to hearing from you.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hot August Night – Tuesday, August 25th 6 – 9PM
Come and cool off with chilled cocktails and hot jazz on the back patio, as we celebrate our first four months
Tuesday, August 25th 6 – 9PM
Jenette Bras
4308 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90029

BRA-FITTING DEMONSTRATIONS
ONE-NIGHT ONLY DISCOUNTS
LOVELY LADIES of appropriate amplitude modeling our LATEST LINGERIE
and introducing Jenette Bras’ signature summer cocktail:
the LAVENDER STRAP

So, yes! Be sure to turn out this evening for a live, in-person “mouth cocktail fitting” featuring your very own plus-sized, swollen, heavy-hanging Lavendar Strap: more than a mouthful, that one, any way it falls into the glass. Next, watch in stitches as I capture your profile – motorboating the verysame Lavendar Strap no less – with my mobile device, and casually upload it to Facebook, Flickr, Twitter, Losanjealous.com and your maternal grandmother’s inbox with surprising deftness, tagging your first name, your last name, your age, the cocktail’s name and potency level, the time of day and the name, purpose and precise geolocation of the “Size D – K” event right before I saunter off to the back patio. See you there.

» Jenette Bras: Size D-K (official site)

PHOTO: Crawford Morgan

HEADS UP
Grupo Fantasma @ Knitting Factory Fri 2/6
Grupo Fantasma @ Santa Monica Promenade Apple Store (presumably performing atop genius bar) Sat 2/7 (free!)

Dig that Latin Groove. I predict this one will be loud, raucous and full of mad energy. Just a prediction. These guys are nominated for a Grammy and everything – in fact, that’s why they’re in town. Never seen them live myself to my knowledge (he says, frantically shuffling thru New Orleans Jazzfest ‘08 notes), but their music sounds like it will be one insane booty-shaking show. Send me an e-mail with your first and last name to get into the hat for a pair of tix.(UPDATE: Contest closed; winners will be notified Thursday.) I’ll be there. Look for the guy sprawled on the floor immediately following an ill-advised balcony dive. (That, or look for the guy five seconds prior to the dive; gradually talk him down with promises of more alcohol. Better.)

Did You Know?
SXSW attendees might recognize the band, photographed here inside what appears to be the Longbranch Inn, East Austin (one of the joints annually taken over by Vice). Pretty sure at least one reader recognizes this place.

Grupo Fantasma: Official Site | Myspace

If there’s one thing I know about hipsters in Silver Lake Echo Park with a little bit of green in the bank, it’s that they love finding new ways to spend their money. And what better way to spend it than on the classiest of all class-defining drinks, yep, you guessed it: wine.

The deal with City Sip is that they’re really laid back and unpretentious about what can possibly be called the most pretentious drink of all time (until Pitchfork comes out with its own PBR knock-off beer, that is). The ambiance of the place is pretty much exactly what you think the inside of a wine bar should look like—dark with soft lighting and Bon Iver on the stereo. »continue reading Notes on City Sip

Many people are fond of bashing LAX. While I’ve never bashed her per se, I will attest that she is early to bed, and she has her ups and downs. The downs, naturally, are considerably less steep with the aid of overpriced fermentation. So Then! Not a comprehensive list so much as it is a jumping off point, following are my personal favorite watering holes, whenever I find that I am suddenly spending more time than desired at the local airport. These recommendations are terminal-specific, so you won’t find the Sheraton or any of the other outlying Westchester oddities. Further, none of these joints require Admiral miles so you’re guaranteed to spend some quality time with your fellow plebes. Commoner.

»continue reading Where To Drink At LAX: The Losanjealous Thanksgiving Travel Primer

I could be wrong, but I don’t think we’ve done a straight-ahead bar review on these pages since June 2006, back when wayward contributor Annie mouthed off about the Spotlight and Bar 107. Drumroll, new bar just opened, here goes nothing.

WHAT I AM WRITING ABOUT
Stinkers Truck Stop

WHY IT IS NOTEWORTHY
Stinkaz (can I get informal here?) is themed as a truck stop, and it “soft opened” (hold – how does a bar “soft open” again? Further, isn’t liquor by definition “hard” ? .. ) last Thursday. Stinkahs has mounted skunk asses on the walls. The asses spray mist on your head while you drink. Stinkezs also has a CB apparatus and a terribly loud truck horn (warning). Apparently Stinkuz also has Stinkers Ale (or similar) but they were out when we visited last Monday. Stinkers is brought to you by the man behind Bigfoot Lodge, Little Cave and Saints and Sinners. You know…theme bars. Stinkers has also been Thrillisted, Eaten and Metromixed in the last week or two so I will be brief.

WHAT I AM WATCHING WHILE I AM WRITING THIS
The Replacements on HBOHD featuring Keanu Reeves, Pat Summerall and Gene Holy Jesus Would You Look At That Juicy Mustache Hackman. Exactly how in the Christ do movies like this get made!? More pressing, why am I all of 70 minutes deep?

»continue reading Five Second Bar Review: Stinkers (Silver Lake)

President George W. Bush approaches the flight deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln in a S-3B Viking jet Thursday, May 1, 2003. White House photo by Paul Morse.

Don’t forget to vote. (As if I needed to say it.) Also: January swearing-in dates and lame duck weeks aside, today is the last day that you will ever be able to get drunk in a Bush nation. Make it count. Drink like W before his 40th. Drink like Bush Senior is floating the tab. Like Cheney’s buying the shots and you don’t know who’s really behind it. Like Rummy’s forcing Jäger bombs down your throat. Take a thermos of Bloody Mary to the polling station. Knock back a few with your lunch. Keg stands would not be out of line. Today’s going to be big, whatever happens. Have fun out there.

» President Bush Announces Major Combat Operations in Iraq Have Ended (TWH)
» Mission Accomplished Debacle Recap (Wikipedia)

Have you ever wondered what might occur were the Losanjealous editorial staff to overindulge in sake while inside a museum? It keeps me up at night, too. Find out this May.

Fellow boozehounds and fans of lowriders, rejoice. Every year, the Little Tokyo Service Center throws a big fundraising party featuring an inordinate number of sakes for the imbibing and foodstuffs for the eating, all within the confines of a decidedly non-Asian-centric museum of note. Case in point: Last year’s gala featured Iron Chef Morimoto and Star Wars memorabilia at the Expo Center downtown. The year before that, the group invaded the Museum of Neon Art. This year’s event, entitled La Vida Sake, will take place May 22 (Thursday) at the Petersen Automotive Museum on Wilshire. More specifically it will take place during the lowrider exhibit, and while we typically take our lowriders with tequila, we’re exuberant for a valid excuse to collectively shift gears to sake for the evening. Plus, we have no choice but to applaud the LTSC for managing to neatly encapsulate the essential ingredients and flavors comprising Los Angeles, our fair city, within this one event: fund raising, alcohol, small portions, numerous cars and Wilshire Boulevard will all be simmered in a melting pot of cultural influences with serious Latino and Asian leanings. Voila!
»continue reading Win Tickets To La Vida Sake Now

4.38pm, April 25, Losanjealous, CA. DF blasts up the 2 onto the transverse side of the mighty San Gabriels and down into the vast expanse of suburbs and Armeniana that is the City of Glendale. Memories of recent slights by the Losanjealous higher-ups still linger. First: passed over for the big food-critic promotion in favor of outside appointment Georgia. Next: conspicuously left off the invite list to the Coachella Music Festival. I confronted LaVerne about this and he revealed the ugly truth: “DF,” he said, “Losanjealous is nothing if not a high-end tastemaker for the west coast’s cultural elite. And while we’re all amused by your antics, you know, getting stumble-bum drunk at roller derby bouts and all, you’re not exactly … classy.”

4.59pm. Still, I fume. Not classy? What a crock. I ooze class. It comes off me in waves. So for a couple days I asked around for a truly refined event that would allow DF to show off his sophisticated bona fides. The word came from an inside source: there’s lots of buzz about the Rosso Wine Shop in North Glendale, which hosts wine tastings where local oenophiles gather to taste of the grape. Perfect. Now I’ll show LaVerne. I’m gonna class the hell out of this wine tasting!
»continue reading A Classy Affaire: Wine Tasting @ Rosso Wine Shop, 4/25/08

12 April. 6.50pm. Historic Filipinotown, Losanjealous, CA. The Holy Feast of Spring Break, as Losanjealous readers undoubtedly know, is DF’s fave holiday. As I’m fond of saying, “Jesus didn’t die on the cross at Calvary for us NOT to get pants-shittingly drunk while scoping for honeys with our bros in South Padre (or, as the case may be, Cabo).” And this year, DF’s annual spring fling takes on a whole new twist as he has allocated one of the spots on his vernal-equinox-related tour to the Doll Factory in Historic Hi-Fi to witness the magical amalgam of allure and athleticism that is the LA Derby Dolls.

7.23pm DF rolls up to the Doll Factory where spring break promises to be in full effect. I’ve got all the essential gear: puka shell necklace; spray-on tan in tones of burnt umber; “Rock Out With Ya Cock Out” novelty T-shirt; videocamera to capture the flashings and the floozings and whatnot (later confiscated by un-fun rent-a-cops); and, most importantly, a state of abject, near-hallucinogenic drunkenness that I’ve been honing since my first extended meeting with one Senor Cuervo last Tuesday.
»continue reading Derby Girls Gone Wild: LA Derby Dolls @ the Doll Factory, 4/12/08

Headed to Austin this week? Plan ahead with our handy chart. One drink is 1.25 oz. of 80 proof liquor, 12 oz. of beer, or 5 oz. of table wine. Subtract .01% for each 40 minutes of drinking.

WHAT
Spaceland Productions and LA Independent Media Group’s “ESCAPE FROM L.A.” free day party during South by Southwest, featuring a slew of Los Angeles’ finest bands

WHEN
Thursday March 13; 12pm-6pm

WHERE
Antone’s & Lucky Lounge, conveniently located next door to each other at 209-213 W 5th (Note: Austin, TX)

WHO’S PLAYING
Glad you asked. At Antone’s: Autolux, The Airborne Toxic Event, The Deadly Syndrome, Daniel Lanois with Brian Blade, Earlimart, Castledoor, Foreign Born, Oliver Future. At Lucky Lounge: Crystal Antlers, Pity Party, Mezzanine Owls, Division Day, Henry Clay People, The Mae Shi. (Wow!)

WHAT DOES IT COST
SuperFree. As is the Dewar’s, while it lasts. As are other goodies. Turn out and find out.

HOW DO I GET IN
Send a note with your name to rsvp@clubspaceland.com, or text “escapefromla” to 66937. That, or roll the dice at the door. It’s Austin during South by Southwest.

The “Los Angeles Independent Media” conglomeration (consisting of ourselves and a bunch of like-minded colleagues [do bloggers have colleagues? -ed (absolutely, bloggers have colleagues; however, if you have never met them in person, they are referred to as blolleagues -other ed)]) will be out in full force. Action, adventure and serious booze in both venues. If you’re headed down to Austin next week, please do turn out in person to meet and throw a Dewar’s in our face for that one post last year that crossed the line of good taste greet your favorite bloggers, drink some complimentary Dewar’s and enjoy some of the best music LA has to offer to the world.

Full flyer (and detailed driving directions) after the jump. The flyer is gigantic, and colorful. Hope to see you there!
»continue reading Details on “Escape From L.A” Day Party @ SXSW

MEXICAN MASKED WRESTLING, SAUCY STRIPTEASE AND KATO KAELIN! WTF?
Pam’s liver sponsored by El Jimador Tequila.

Tuesday night was the first of three Lucha Va Voom shows at the Mayan Theatre downtown. These are the valentine-themed “Love is in the Air” performances, but I think there were more tequila fumes in the air than love. I have been to several Lucha Va Voom shows; this was not my favorite. [That's the hangover talking. -ed] Although, a so-so Lucha Va Voom show is still 158% better than “Law and Order SVU” reruns on my couch. I definitely recommend checking out the final night Thursday.

7.26p
We arrived early and got a table, which is key if you’re buying the $30 tickets. The show started off flat with two burlesque dancers, the Queen of Hearts and the Queen of Clubs. It barely roused (or aroused) anyone in the normally raucous crowd.
»continue reading LUCHA VA VOOM – FEBRUARY 12TH, 2008 AT THE MAYAN THEATRE – “LOVE IS IN THE AIR”

The United States officially recognized and preserved your right to booze freely on December 5, 1933. From Eugene, Oregon bartender Jeffrey Morgenthaler:

Repeal Day (December 5th) is not celebrated by anyone in this country, yet it is the only day which truly has any connection with alcohol. December 5th is the anniversary of the day the United States repealed the Eighteenth Amendment and gave us all the constitutional right to consume alcohol.

Don’t disappoint. Make it count.

REPEAL DAY (official site)

The Official LOS ANGELES LIVE VENUE DRINKER’S PRICE GUIDE has been updated with your feedback as of 10/26/07. Take, use, continue to contribute. It’s getting considerably fleshed out but we’ve still got a lot of ground booze to cover consume. Here’s the guide.

Hollywood Drink Prices By The People, For The People

We’ve been talking about doing something like this for well over a year and it is now time to get it out the door. Please bookmark this page. May it serve you when planning how much money to bring (or not to bring) the next time you hit the live music circuit. With any luck we’ll eventually be able to tell who’s doing things right, who’s doing things so-so, and who’s shafting everybody in the ass indiscriminately across the board.

The next time you go to a show you need to remember:

1. Where were you
2. What was the date
3. Who was playing
4. What drink did you order
5. Which bar did you order from
6. How much did it cost
7. Any other pertinent information (How was the drink? etc)

The ‘which bar’ category has been added based on the fact that within venues themselves, some bars offer drinks not available at the other bars. Example, beers are available in super big gulp sizes at the downstairs bars at Spaceland and Roxy but not at the upstairs bars. You get the idea.

Every time you see a show and order at least one drink, come back to this page and add your info to the comment section. Every week or so, we’ll update the master list with your input, sorting by venue then by date within venue. If this takes off we may eventually have a serious resource on our hands here, and we will database it. If it doesn’t take off, we’ll then know you are all (a) lazy or (b) non-boozers. Either way we win; demo data is prettymuch invaluable these days. I’ll start the chart with last night’s show and a recent foray at the Troubadour. Let’s do this, people! Price guide after the jump.
»continue reading The Los Angeles Live Venue Drinking Price Guide

The Canadian Coffee Break brings together some of the finest Canadian minds in Southern California every week for a topical, lively round-tablesque discussion over very dark coffee. Won’t you join us.

TOPIC #10: THE MARINA

This week’s topic is MARINA DEL REY. The marina and its inhabitants have collectively fascinated me for years: white mustaches, admiral caps, divorcees, old money, cocaine, goofy 80s highrises, collagen injections, breast implants, wrinkles galore, overtanned skin, snarled LAX traffic and boats as far as the eye can see. Is it a hard-and-fast rule that you must slightly resemble kenny rogers to live in marina? Don’t answer that, but be assured I have friends that live in marina and they are completely surrounded by cougars and kenny rogers-alikes, whether or not they choose to admit it. Holy good goodness, what’s not to love about the marina!?!?

I would like to know two things this week:
1) What part of your hometown most closely approximates the marina “vibe” … if any? and
2) Describe the best, worst or most boring time you have ever had in Marina del Rey.

Need inspiration? Channel michael mcdonald and kenny loggins. Go watch yacht rock in order, beginning with episode 1…

Seth (website)
Greetings from Montreal!

First, an update to my last post: Sadly, it seems Pizza des Pins and its “patates godlike” have gone to that godlike potato in the sky: The joint is closed. Montrealers in search of heavenly homefries will just have to settle for mortal spuds from now on.

Montreal is great. It’s sunny and cool, though there was one night of rain. I spent Sunday at the Osheaga Festival at Parc Jean Drapeau, aka Ile Ste. Helene. Osheaga is basically a mini-Coachella that’s accessible by Metro and far less stifling. I caught acts like Arctic Monkeys (fun), Interpol (snore), and M.I.A. (also really fun), plus some lesser known Canadian acts on smaller stages–You Say Party! We Say Die! and The Most Serene Republic were highlights.

Okay, now on to the matter at hand: Marina del Rey.
»continue reading Canadian Coffee Break: Regarding Marina del Rey

This is a wide shot intended to convey the general atmosphere of the festival. Festivals frequently feature large numbers of people (”festival goers”), mechanical contraptions that move bodies through space, against our normal physics in an enjoyable fashion (”rides”) and temporary food and consumer product vendor stations (”booths”). Festivals frequently take place in the open air, as can be seen here.

Here is another one of these festival atmosphere photographs, but taken from a different vantage point. Note booths on the left, festival goers, and ride, in this case, some sort of centrifuge contraption.
»continue reading 2007 Sunset Junction Street Fair

Hangovers suck. They can ruin your entire day. There are a million coping methods, most of them involving something passive, like lying on the couch watching 90’s movies on USA for a few hours. Another method is to eat a Mexican breakfast. This is something I’ve never tried because food is the last thing on my mind when I’m hungover. I asked a friend of mine who swears by the Mexican breakfast remedy and he said, “I don’t know how it works, it just does. I don’t question God’s ways.”

It’s Saturday morning and I wake up drunk from the night before. The hangover hasn’t even kicked in yet. I call my buddy Pablo, who is also hungover, and tell him we’re going to Los Tacos in Pasadena. Los Tacos is one of my favorite restaurants in LA; it’s cheap, they have great food, and the portions are big enough for lunch and dinner.
»continue reading A Mexican Breakfast: The Hangover Remedy