Hootie, Blowfish, D. Lowe to kick off Dodgers ’06 Campaign

DodgersThe Los Angeles Dodgers of Echo Park open the ’06 season at home against the ATL Braves today. If it doesn’t get rained out, here’s the bill of Opening Day festivities on tap for fans at the stadium today.

Opening Day Schedule of Events:

    11:55 am – Players at turnstiles until 12:10 pm
    11:56 am - Without the help of names on their jerseys, incoming fans try to guess who each player is. “I think that was Dioner Navarro.” “No, that’s Olmedo Saenz. I think.” Etc.
    12:00 pm – Hootie and the Blowfish performance – 30 minute set
    12:00:01 pm - Beer run en masse
    12:30 pm – 1981 World Series celebration video feature on Dodgervision
    12:31 pm – Collective realization hits Chavez Ravine that 1981 was 25 goddamned years ago, wonders what the hell have they done with their lives
    12:35 pm - Parachute team begins jump into outfield area with game balls
    12:36 pm – “Now that’s how you deliver some goddamn balls to a game!” overheard
    12:40 pm – Louisville Slugger Silver Slugger Award – Jeff Kent
    12:41 pm - Jeff Kent declines award, announces to crowd he’s just here to do his job as a professional, not to be anyone’s friend, heads to dugout, reads motocross magazine
    12:42 pm – Atlanta Braves Intros
    12:47 pm – Dodger Intros – Fireworks shot during starting line-up
    12:48 pm – First of many, many ironic “Nomah” calls to come heard
    12:52 pm – Tommy Lasorda First Ball ceremony
    12:56 pm – Royal Rangers Color guard
    12:57 pm – God Bless America and the National Anthem – Kristin Chenoweth
    12:58 pm – McCourts realize no one in L.A. gives a shit about Broadway stars
    1:00 pm - Air Force Flyover
    1:01 pm - “Woo hoo! Take that Osama!”
    1:05 pm - Mayor Villaraigosa to present Guinness Certificate to Ron Cey
    1:06 pm – At home in the Valley, sitting on his cream colored leather sofa, Tom Niedenfuer sips some Johnny Walker on ice and wonders why they didn’t invite him out for all this ’81 season stuff
    1:10 pm
    - Game time
    1:13 pm - J.D. Drew injured, out for season