I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you could do far worse than to start your evening at this venerable establishment. Far worse.

Bonus photo: Wrap in bacon. Fry on makeshift stove until properly juiced. Click tongs, vende, vende, vende. Now Quick! Pack up. Move four blocks down and one block over. Stay mobile. Decrease your chances of getting busted. Failsafe business model. If you like the subject matter of this photo, don’t stop here. Check out Hexodus’ Bacon Wrapped group on flickr.

The Losanjealous Benevolent Society gathers a weekly list of strange happenings and fun events in LA–the more ridiculous, the better. Visit our events calendar for the full list. And if you’re organizing or know of an event you think belongs on the list, send us info at tips@losanjealous.com.

FRIDAY

Tactical Ice Cream Unit @ Machine Project
The Tactical Ice Cream Unit (TICU) rolls through the city in an act of intervention that replaces cold stares with frosty treats and nourishing knowledge. Combining a number of successful activist strategies (Food-Not-Bombs, Copwatch, Indymedia, infoshops, etc) into one mega-mobile, the TICU is the Voltron-like alter-ego of the cops’ mobile command center. Although the TICU appears to be a mild-mannered vending vehicle, it harbors a host of high-tech surveillance devices including a 12-camera video surveillance system, acoustic amplifiers, GPS, satellite internet, a media transmission studio capable of disseminating live audio/video, and of course, ice cream. Mr Gach will be answering questions, discussing the various activities of the Center for Tactical Magic, and offering a close up view and tour of the Tactical Ice Cream Unit.

4th Annual Coachella Kickoff Party
Get kidnapped and bused to an undisclosed desert location–sign me up. Free booze, master turntablists and a lakeside view are just some of what you can expect at this year’s big gig.

SATURDAY

Flip Cup Tournament @ El Guapo
$30 to become a Registered Player which includes a T-Shirt, all you can drink game fluids and the chance at winning a trophy and being part of a championship team with whom you’ll walk together for the rest of your life which is really something no one can take away from you. This event is sanctioned by the United Flip Cup Association.

Killer Guppies Dragon Boat Challenge
Come try one of the world’s fastest growing sports, dragon boat racing!! The Killer Guppies Dragon Boat team is hosting its beginner clinic Sat 4/29. 9:30am - 1pm. We will be giving coaching sessions followed by a race at the end! No experience necessary! Lunch included with admission fee. ($20/$15 student).

Terry Jones @ Hammer
British actor, comedian, and writer Terry Jones was a founding member of Monty Python. He is the author of numerous fiction and nonfiction books on medieval history. Jones will discuss his latest work, Terry Jones’ Barbarians, the story of Roman history told from diverse perspectives that suggest the empire was more manipulative than traditional history remembers..

Inside Out: The Phil Collins Experience @ Normandie Casino
When is it time to give up the Rock and Roll Dream? When you are in a Phil Collins tribute band playing at a casino in Gardena.

Festival of Muthafukkin Books
Free to the public, this event occurs the last weekend in April — Saturday, April 29 10am-6pm and Sunday, April 30 10am-5pm — and offers something for all ages and interests. Every year, it adds up to be America’s largest and grandest literary event. Come meet your fellow bookloving freaks. Through Sunday, 4/30.

Nuts for Mutts
An annual dog show and pet fair celebrating the best of the mutt. It’s just like the Westminster Dog show… okay, not really. In this show, mixed breed dogs compete in categories such as “Best Kisser,” “Fastest Eater,” “Most Vocal,” “Mystery Mutt” and more. It’s a day of fun and a way for people to show off their mutts, so nothing is taken too seriously (well, that may not always be true for all contestants). Through Sunday, 4/30.

SUNDAY

Fiesta Broadway
The largest Latino event in the nation’s largest Latino market!

HAMMER Readings: Karen Finley
Karen Finley reads from her latest work, George and Martha, which imagines a torrid affair between the president of the United States and the first lady of domesticity, Martha Stewart. Karen Finley has performed and exhibited her artwork at cultural centers and universities worldwide. Her books include Shock Treatment, A Different Kind of Intimacy, Enough is Enough, and Living it Up. She teaches art and public policy at Tisch School of the Arts, New York University.

MONDAY

Johnnie Walker Journey
Experience all 5 Johnnie Walker blends–presumably including top-shelf Blue Label–at a free tasting taking place at the Jim Henson Studios. RSVP required; use password “progress” to gain access to the registration form. Two tastings a night. Through Saturday, 5/6.

Join the Losanjealous Benevolent Society and we’ll send our events list to your inbox.
email:

CALIFORNIA POTTERY, WEST COVINA, 1960

A deadpan doll anchored by twisted crepe paper is the centerpiece of a little West Covina girl’s birthday party table. The doll has a yarn ‘fro. The little girl wears Bette Page bangs and a bow on top of her head. Cupcakes, each with a single candle, are served. A yellow chrome dinette set and California Pottery, displayed in a classic mid-century modern china cabinet, make a colorful and stylish backdrop. The dishes were manufactured by Metlox and Free Form is the name of the spectacular futuristic pattern.

Pottery production began in Southern California in the early 1900s. By the ’40s the colorful dishes and decorative knick-knacks from local manufacturers such as Metlox, were a common sight in homes all over the Unites States. Due to restrictions on imports during World War II, the pottery business flourished and by the late ’40s there were more than eight hundred pottery manufacturers in Southern California. After the war, when import restrictions were lifted, a flood of imports from Japan and Italy flooded the market. By the late ’50s many pottery factories were unable to compete with the lower-cost imports and shut their doors.

Back in the mid ’80s I was lucky enough to score a Free Form plate on a thrift shopping spree in Pomona. How exciting! The space age motif inspired my imagination and made my spirit soar. Over the last twenty years I’ve eaten off of it a zillion times. Of all my mismatched dinner plates it’s always been my favorite.

A few weeks ago I decided to treat myself to a cleaning lady. Why should I be mopping the floor and scrubbing the toilet when I have stacks of slides to sort? A few days later she was doing the dishes in the kitchen and I was gasping away at vintage slides in the living room when all of the sudden – a crash-bang-crackle like I’ve never heard before. I rushed in the kitchen to investigate and there it was - my cherished Free Form plate by Metlox, shattered on the floor in a hundred pieces. “It just s-s-s-slipped out of my h-h-h-hand” she sobbed. There is now one less Free Form dinner plate in the world.

Cheers to you and California Pottery!

Charles Phoenix

P.S. California Pottery: From Missions to Modernism by Bill Stern is a great read!

Visit Charles’ site or join his Slide of the Week Mailing List.

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I went around the losanjealous offices after lunch and collected picks and notes on the Coachella bill. If you have quibbles with the list or picks of your own, stick ‘em below.

UPDATE: Set times announced here. A few tough time conflicts in there. Let’s hear the hardest choices you’re going to have to make.

RELATED COACHELLA UPDATE REDUX: Daniil sends us the hot tip of a secret Coachella act show 7 p.m. tonight (Friday 4/28) at the Roxy. We will give you a hint: their name rhymes with Charles Barkley. If you aren’t reading this on wi-fi lined up outside the Roxy now, forget about it. At least now you can say you knew about it but decided to pass on it.

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Animal Collective. Look, we like these dudes. But we didn’t drive out to the goddamned desert to see some beardy dudes shout into mics and twiddle knobs. They better fucking bring some actual tunes with them.

Be Your Own Pet, The Rakes, The Duke Spirit. I like these kids, all of them, and in that order. I have a good feeling about them. Watch them climb from 10-point font to 14-point font on the next Coachella poster.

Cat Power. Live, Chan could go either way. But if she keeps the spacey chick in check with just the right amount of heartbreak at about sunset, it could be a real special moment. And she better be loud to be heard over any beats whipping though the air.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah vs. Editors vs. Wolf Parade. Similarly ultra bloghyped derivative bands of an equal stature try to break out from the JV club indie circuit to that Interpol/Franz ampitheater-level in hopes of staving off inevitable sophomore slumps.

Daft Punk, The Juan Maclean, Ladytron. Catch these synthy futuristic retro grooves and not the other synthy futuristic retro grooves on the bill.

Devendra Banhart. Fuck this folkie beardy hippie freak shit. It’s hot, we’re tired, we’re wasted, so you need to bring it strong at a festival. If you want something nice and mellow to blaze one up to, go see Seu Jorge instead.

Depeche Mode. If they stick to the classics and slip in a few old deep cuts, they will win over the crowd. Basically stick to Black Celebration through Violator and throw in something from the early 80’s to show the new jacks who the fuck invented that S&M-flecked synthpop that is paying their bills.

Deerhoof, Lady Sovereign. I have a feeling that either one of these fiery 4’12” chicks could, and very well will, someday, kick my ass. Perhaps at the same time. Call it a premonition. But before that fateful day, this weekend one of them should get on the other’s shoulders, form an indie Yao Ming and storm the crowd. Now, that, that would be sweet.

»continue reading Coachella 2006 Line-up Picks & Notes

As we all know, “Los Angeles” is Spanish for “Famous People.” Though one might not feel complete until experiencing a legitimate sighting (and if you’re still anxiously waiting, go to House of Pies already), look no further than your friendly neighborhood pier. The ‘Nade offers a smorgasbord of entertainment’s most fantastic specimens. Dear Reader, I give you…The Show People.

photo by SeraphimC

1) Ol’ Yeller: Ol’ Yeller is always on the ‘Nade, in some way or another. Whether preaching from a Bible or screaming about political turmoil in the Middle East, one can always find an old man yelling somewhere, about something. Typically found within the first block of the ‘Nade, Ol’ Yeller simply yells, constantly, stopping for neither traffic nor air. He holds his ground and yells–not directly at you, not directly at anyone. If you’re lucky enough to just miss the “Walk” sign, and have to wait for a light, try to get within listening distance (approximately a 1/4 block circumference) to hear his pearls of wisdom. Also note that Ol’ Yeller is non-committal. In the time it takes for you to walk up the ‘Nade and back down, he will have either changed topics or taken the opposite viewpoint. Sometimes within a matter of minutes. Reynald Chabot is the most famous of the Ol’ Yellers. Respect.

2) The Show Offs: In this category falls all of the people on the ‘Nade who actually have talent (and most likely a MySpace music page to back it up). There’s Metal Kid, who lays down “Stairway to Heaven” like it’s Lincoln Logs. The countless Acoustic Musicians; some with guitars, some with pan flutes, most with dreadlocks. The KC & JoJo Rip-offs who have real microphones and matching fedoras. Bucket Drummer. The Saxophonist who is, in fact, available for weddings. Though dominated by musicians, the Show Offs also include Face Sculptor, Plate Spinner, Tap Dancing Duo, The Ballroom Dancers who emerge from the studio on 4th Street to recruit new customers and Victor, the Wheelchair Guy Who can do Gymnastic-y Things Balancing on his Hands.

3) The Wind Ups: The Wind Ups are perhaps the greatest thing about the ‘Nade, because they do NOTHING. They are a difficult category to understand; shouldn’t their trickery demote them from Show People status? Never. Everyone has the potential to be a Wind Up–you just have to not do anything that merits a monetary donation. (I’m looking at you, Devil Sticks Girl.) The favorite of ‘Nade employees is Lakers Jersey Guy. He gathers a large group of people around him, chants, claps, and jumps up and down in a circle to get his audience super-pumped. Sometimes he does a few seconds of the Robot. If the mood is right, he’ll pull a member from the crowd and convince him to dance, too. Then he passes around a bucket, gives a brief lecture about how he’s trying to stay off the street, and strips down, rubbing the dollar bills all over his naked body. (Okay, so that last bit is unconfirmed but a girl can dream.)

So give generously, my friends, and hang tight for the ‘Nade’s next installment: The Homies.

Friday, April 21. LA begins its weekend. Fresh from his inclusion in the LA Weekly 100 People 2006, Yo! List, Rocco Somazzi mans the door of the Barnsdall Gallery Theater in Los Feliz. The grounds surrounding the theater are quiet. Inside the theater…a different story. The Industrial Jazz Group is celebrating the release of Industrial Jazz A Go-Go.

I enter the theater a few minutes late with Soy Pudding, aka Betty, in tow. Horns cover the stage. They blare. They blaiiiiize! They brattttt. They bwaaa~iiiilllll! I suddenly need total and complete tonal immersion.

“Front row, Beth,” I nudge her. We sit down front and center. Things begin to get interesting. I count eleven horns, one guitar, electric bass, drums and pianist/conductor Andrew Durkin. One interpretive dancer. One chanteuss/singstress with a good set of pipes. Strangers from the audience and band members occasionally walk up to the microphone between songs and, accompanied by a soft horn or two, proceed to deliver Moondog- inspired epigrams, deadpan. Trumpeter Phil Rodriguez is wearing a sombrero, a multi-colored serape and mirrored cop shades. The guitarist sports swimtrunks, flippers and a snorkel. Everybody’s got a trick here. Not Durkin. Not the leader. He looks like George Lucas. He’s in t-shirt and jeans.

“They look like an IT department!” Betty giggles between songs.

“Beth, you have to understand jazz musicians. I went to North Texas. I was surrounded by these guys. Jazz cats. They’re probably world class. If this Industrial Jazz thing doesn’t work out they could turn around and book a session for Boz Skaggs in a heartbeat. Hell. Chicago? Jimmy Pankow? Memphis Horns? Nothing on these dudes. Listen to them. Don’t look at ‘em. Just listen. Beth, listen.”

I’ve been known to blow more wind out of this mouth than anybody on stage. I continue.

“Mingus Big Band? Hell. Just listen, damn it.”

The problem is, interesting things keep happening. We can’t just listen. We have to watch. The horns leave the stage mid-song to mingle with the audience [photo], honking all the while. The dancers keep doing freaky stuff. Some guy with a beard and coiff that would make George Lucas (and Durkin) green snaps photos, nonstop. The theatre is a hive of activity.

After the break a quintet appears on stage, led by Durkin. I must admit I’m enjoying the break from the guitar - he’s a solid player but admittedly unnecessary with all that windpower on stage. The bass however is mandatory, especially in the quintet. He’s spot-on. I suddenly remember that I need to get my fretless back from that girl in Hollywood before she craigslists the bejesus out of it.

The full group reappears and the madness continues for another half-hour. The bottom line: I don’t know when they’ll have this many people playing live again, but I intend to be there.

Industrial Jazz A Go-Go: The CD Review
Bandoleero starts of with promise and quickly shifts gears into something Herb Alpert would have been proud to include on Whipped Cream & Other Delights. In general the songs shift gears tonally and rhythmically, as often as possible, and refuse to end. Blatantly refuse. They start with a hook, implode into chaos and culminate in Elmer Bernstein’s darkest fantasies. I must admit I’m having trouble concentrating but this I know: Saxophonist Cory Wright’s intro on Baby, Shake That Thing is absolutely. Nuts. Killer. Not to be missed. I cd-rewound it six times before allowing the rest of the song to play.

The Industrial Jazz Group, Quintet Edition performs at Cafe Metropol in the Downtown Arts District on May 5. Recommended.

We sent two of our reporters to the Brian Jonestown Massacre two-day stand at little radio warehouse alongside our fan fiction winner, who flew down from San Francisco for the show. All three came back with varied reports. The real story is still out there someplace.

The bouncer/doorman took a fancy to me and gave me and my friend VIP bracelets so I got to sit on the stairs with a perfect view the whole time. I could have talked to Anton a few times, but it seemed a bit cheesy, esp. since his female entourage was standing in line for kisses and I was kind of grossed out about it. So I admired His Crazy Majesty from afar. It was great.

While Bright Channel was on, a couple young dorks arrived and decided people needed to be dancing and moshing. So they dove into the crowd and accidentally kicked my friend in the chest. We were not amused. “Is this the future of rock and roll? Everyone standing around like wax figures?” the dorks asked rhetorically. “Quit jumping my friend!” I yelled. Later on in the evening, Anton made fun of these guys yelling “rock and roll” over and over again. He mocked them and said something about how they must watch “Jackass” a lot.

I was tired of it and went to get a drink at the bar. That’s when my surreal night got more surreal. The gangster/David Lynch bouncer in a suit David (Dave, dave? –ed) bought me a drink and told me to call him in 15 minutes, at which time he’d magically produce VIP bracelets for my friend and me. I just had to meet him at the stairs. I came back and told her about it and she asked “How do you disappear for drinks and come back with VIP bracelets?” “I dunno. He said he liked my smile!”

So we’re sitting in our (relatively speaking) cush seats on the stairs, with perfect views of Anton facing our way. Yes!
»continue reading The Losanjealous BJM Two-Day Recap

So like I said up there, Kruang Tedd is that Thai joint next door to Jumbo’s, the strip mall juxtaposition of the two establishments bringing to life the shared etymology of all things carnal/carnivorous, with the attendant matters of satisfaction of primal cravings. One will tease you and leave you high and dry; the other will fill your belly with savory carbohydrates; though I can’t remember which is which. Apparently K.T. is a jumping late dinner spot for young locals for it’s live music. The homemade business cards specify “music & thai cuisine” in that order in that early-90’s minimalist 4AD-style graphic design. On a midweek night around 8, the joint was empty. Granted, there might’ve been a new episode of Joey that night. Our pleasant but not-the-least-bit-demure hostess (Chinese, I’m guessing) is happy to see us and gets us set up at the lacquered dark wood table (sliding into 80’s style with the furniture–love the homey mashup of decor) of our choice. I caught a glint off the steel of the house musical gear lying in repose in a dark corner of the dining room and pondered the K.T.’s potential to host some serious jamming on the Coldplay songbook. For now, though, some piped-in XM set to easy listening KCRWtronica (what female singer does this acoustic samba version of “Love Will Tear Us Apart Again”? Anyone?) and muted flatscreen for some reason turned to Emeril were the A/V in the L-shaped dining room.

»continue reading That Thai Joint Next to Jumbo’s

Visit our concert calendar for a full show list, links to buy tickets and our top picks.

Pick of the Week: Coachella
$200. 200 bands. 200 miles. 200 lines. 200 degrees. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Heads up: 5/2 Secret Machines @ Amoeba; 5/2 Wolfmother @ Tower Sunset; 5/2 Franz Ferdinand @ Jimmy Kimmel; 5/4 Daniel Johnston @ Amoeba

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Win Tickets to see The Vacation @ The Knit on 4/27
“They have the kind of well-oiled animal magnetism that just doesn’t exist in the glut of anaemic love-pap currently dominating mainstream UK music.” –BBC

www.thevacationmusic.com | www.myspace.com/thevacation

Enter to win a pair of tickets by emailing vacation-contest@losanjealous.com

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Win Tickets to see nearLY @ Spaceland on 4/27
“…a heavy journey through sonic elements reminiscent of dark, brooding acts like Pink Floyd, The Cure, Spiritualized and Dead Can Dance.”–audiohead.net

www.nearly.net | www.myspace.com/nearly

Enter to win a pair of tickets by emailing nearly-contest@losanjealous.com

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Win Tickets to see The Red Krayola @ Spaceland on 4/30
“The Krayola’s legacy is surely bolstered by their location in rock history– simply put, this was likely the most experimental band of the 1960s– but until we’ve caught up with them, this remains essential listening for fried brains of all creeds.”–Pitchfork

www.dragcity.com/bands/rk.html

Enter to win a pair of tickets by emailing rk-contest@losanjealous.com

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All winners will be chosen by 3:00 P.M., Tuesday, April 25th.

MONDAY
Youth Group, Army Navy @ Spaceland (free)
Living Things @ Troubadour
Chris and Rich Robinson @ Roxy
Jackie Greene @ Mint

TUESDAY
Chris and Rich Robinson @ Roxy
Jackie Greene @ Mint

WEDNESDAY
Quasi @ Spaceland
David Sedaris @ Royce Hall
Jolie Holland @ Largo
AM @ Hotel Cafe
Atmosphere @ Jimmy Kimmel
Ravi Shankar @ Disney
Chris and Rich Robinson @ Roxy

THURSDAY
Coup @ Amoeba (free)
David Garza @ Largo
The Vacation, The Sun @ Knitting Factory
Petra Haden @ Echo
nearLY @ Spaceland

FRIDAY
Wilderness @ Echo
Gnarls Barkley @ Roxy (free, first come first served)
Dudley Perkins & Georgia Anne @ Amoeba (free)

SATURDAY
Coachella Festival @ Indio Empire Polo Field
Red Krayola, Future Pigeon @ Getty (free)

SUNDAY
Coachella Festival @ Indio Empire Polo Field
Red Krayola @ Spaceland

Get this list delivered to your inbox before it gets published on the web!
email:

Thanks for the Gnarls Barkley tip, Daniil!

The holy grail — a taco trilogy so great that it defies description. A taco triptych of immense beauty. A taco tabernacle of wisdom and faith. A taco triumvirate. Anyways, that’s what I am calling it.

Yes, I’ve been gone for a bit. I went away to blogging school, did a few extension classes when money got tight, but passed the finals and got my degree. Since graduating, I’ve started my own blog, L.A. Smog Blog. There you will find my review of El Burrito Jr., which completes my reviewing of the Mid-City taco triumvirate, which began on this site with reviews of El Pecas #2 and Lucy’s. If you wanted to, you could easily walk to all three of these La Brea Ave. establishments for a full day of taco fun. I do it every other Sunday with a group of friends. Try it. Also, here’s a visual aid if you do decide to take the Mid-City taco walking tour. Print this map out and you are set:

Don’t forget your compass!

Editors note: per Losanjealous bylaws, after announcing his departure Daniel was given the choice of being beaten by rest of our staff members or fighting Bill DeMarco to the death. Daniel wisely chose the group beating and requests that readers do not send flowers to his Cedars-Sinai recovery unit room on account of his allergies.

The Losanjealous Benevolent Society gathers a weekly list of strange happenings and fun events in LA–the more ridiculous, the better. Visit our events calendar for the full list. And if you’re organizing or know of an event you think belongs on the list, send us info at tips@losanjealous.com.

FRIDAY

The Brothers Quay - Screening and Q&A
First-ever in-person session with The Brothers Quay, legendary, reclusive stop-motion filmmakers.

April Guthrie and Cassia Streb @ Machine Project
Listen to duets by Guthrie & Streb, the contemporary cello & viola duo. There will also be a live scoring of a new film by Mareca Guthrie. Composer Aaron Drake has been comissioned to write a work and deliver it in a sealed envelope, which the duo will open before your eyes and premiere. Come and hear the “Difficult Superhits” of tomorrow.

SATURDAY

Hopscotch @ GR2
Giant Robot is proud to present hopscotch, a group show serving you at GR2. Artists will include Susie Ghahremani, Kelly Tunstall, Keith Jones, Jack Long, David Magdaleno, and Matt Moroz. Opening reception 6:30-10 on Saturday, April 22. Artists Jack Long, Kelly Tunstall and David Magdaleno will be in attendance. Through 5/17.

McDonald’s History Tour
McHistorian Chris Nichols presents a bus tour exploring the legacy and hidden history of brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald, founders of McDonald’s restaurants. We will travel historic Route 66 into the San Gabriel Valley and Inland Empire, visiting the birthplace of the fast food industry.

Brewery Art Walk
A twice-annual open studio weekend at the world’s largest art colony. 4/22-23.

TUESDAY

Writers Bloc: Craig Ferguson with David Duchovny
Craig Ferguson, the host of CBS’ “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson,” takes on Scientology, Hollywood, religion, and other staples of southern California in his new novel, “Between the Bridge and the River.” David Duchovny, known for his role on “The X Files,” is not visiting Writers Bloc because he is just another pretty face. He’s literary and interesting, and knows a terrific writer when he meets one.

THURSDAY

Sake Illuminated @ Museum of Neon Art
Sake experts will be on hand to provide an education on the sake and food pairings at the various sake and hors d’ oeuvres stations. As guests sample the offerings, they will also be able to view the “As We Glow” exhibit at the Museum of Neon Arts and speak to Asian American neon artists regarding the work on display. Win tickets from Losanjealous!

Join the Losanjealous Benevolent Society and we’ll send our events list to your inbox.
email:

Wildflowers & Fried Chicken, Antelope Valley, 1955

This almost could’ve been me last weekend. But it isn’t. However, I did eat fried chicken and sat on a rock surrounded by wildflowers. I just didn’t do it at the same time!

I’d never be above wearing a long-sleeved, pointed collar, Navy blue and white shadow plaid shirt with breast pocket flaps, tucked into cuffed, coco-colored gab slacks over argyles and hand-sewn leather slippers. This is, after all, the perfect afternoon ensemble for a gentleman to sit on a rock with a big pot of cold fried chicken in the middle of a field of lupine.

Speaking of chicken… last Friday night I had one of the best fried chicken dinners ever! I wined and dined with festive friends at the Hill-top House Supper Club at 3500 N. Rancho Drive in Las Vegas. This place has to be the last honest, old, mom and pop cocktail lounge-dining room combos left in “Jackpot City”.

It was on the darker side of twilight time as we pulled past the Hill-top House Supper Club’s aging, plain-jane-yet-seductive neon sign entering the half-empty parking lot. The neon wasn’t on yet. We got out of the car and as we walked up to it, it came on. When was the last time you saw SUPPER followed by CLUB in neon? It’s been a while - huh? It was an electrifying moment!

Originally this “dressy- diner” was a house built in 1954 out of railroad ties. It became a restaurant in 1961. The moment you walk in the door you could be in any decade. It’s timeless. The walls are wood paneled. The salad bar has pickled pigs feet! And the next time I may try their famous “sea and pond combination,” one lobster tail and two frog legs.

Last Sunday I was in the Antelope Valley sitting on a rock surrounded by miles and miles of wildflowers. The poppies, lupine and little yellow daisies that grow so thick they look like yellow shag carpet, are in full bloom. I could go on, but I can’t. There are no words to describe the beauty. Chicken leg anyone?

Here’s to fried chicken, wildflowers and you!
Charles Phoenix

PS. A final Downtown Tour date has been added - MAY 28, 2006, plus, join me at the Walt Disney Concert Hall for my Disneyland Slide Show, Friday May 19, at 8:30 pm & Sunday, May 21, at 2 pm.

Visit Charles’ site or join his Slide of the Week Mailing List.

#7: the Starbucks at Colorado and Eagle Rock, Eagle Rock.

Sleep. Twisted sheets. Cups.

Behind my eyes, beyond my bed, a shape takes shape.

It’s Jim Two Hawks! . . .standing on the head of a giant eagle! . . .and he’s playing the greatest guitar solo in the history of the universe!!! The tones, where to begin, a profusion of the sweetest, most yearning, triumphant, articulate, cacophonous, euphonious, supernal sparks of divinity to emanate from man or dream. He plays ever faster, dizzyingly, searingly, ironically for a bar or two, then back to searingly. My astral self flaps like a banner in the soundstorm as coronas of gold and tea-rose magnify his silhouette. Something is rising behind him. The solo scorches furiously, the melodic strands flowing ineffably toward what is sure to be a sublime coda. . . .

When I wake up. 4:23. Moonlight. I’m sweating harder than Sydney Greenstreet wearing a chinchilla coat blow-drying his hair in a humidor. What was that song? I grab my bass from the closet and gingerly pick out the notes. B flat? Yes. F. No. F#. Yes. What next what next. J? Is that a note? That’s not a note. Yes it is. Question mark? Christ. Don’t fade away don’t fade away. G flat. Now we’re talking. These fireflies scatter into darkness and I chase them with salad tongs. I need a drink. Focus DeMarco. Four notes, c’mon. E? Maybe. Nah. Try it. Yes. I pluck the fat unamplified strings. What is this song? I pluck some more. So achingly close, almost there, what is it what is it???

It’s The Pink Panther. Christ.

For reasons totally arbitrary I seek out the seventh best Starbucks in Los Angeles at Colorado and something in uh. . .I forget. When I get there they’re (their? their’re?) serving this new kind of mocha drink. It looks like a cross between a coffee and a coffee shake, leaning toward a coffee. The white beret of foam has stretch marks. Not unlike Sydney Greenstreet. This means something. Two gentlemen at the next table conduct a business deal in Spanish. One hands the other a sandwich of what look like Chester Arthur $1,500 bills. Did the Treasury get my e-mail?

Somebody sneezes. It’s Jim. I’m no longer surprised.

“Jim. I had a dream about you.”
“I’m listening.”
“You were playing guitar on the head of a giant eagle.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t a saxophone?”
I thought long.
“No, it was an eagle.”

Jim nodded and sipped his coffee.

“The 134. Westbound.”

And just like that he leaves. Westbound. I don’t get it. Does Jim even play guitar? He didn’t answer my question. Didn’t I see one in his apartment? What am I talking about he lives in a condo in Highland Park. Or does he? I’m contemplating mortgage payments when something lacerates my attention. Due north. It’s a rock. . .shaped like an eagle. And? That’s it! This is Jim’s inimitable talent for visual punning! Eagle + Rock=a 1979 bootleg of the Eagles live at Three Rivers Stadium that I borrowed from him a couple months ago. He must want it back. Shit, Jim, why’n't you say so? This is all kind of I mean forgive me pretty fuckin’ passive-aggressive.

I shake my head and drive on, the beaked boulder in my rearview mirror framed by a twilight of pink and gold.

Congratulations to the winner of our Brian Jonestown Massacre Fan Fiction Contest, Barbara Herman. Barbara’s winning entry is printed in its glorious entirety below.

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THE ALLMAN BROTHERS KARAMAZOV
By Barbara Herman

It was a misty and melancholy morning in San Francisco. 5 am. The streetlights blurred in the drizzle. The grey streets were slick with rain.

Bucky Covington, recent American Idol reject, stepped off the Greyhound Bus.

San Francisco.

He hadn’t planned to go North. Wrenched from the City of Angels to Kerouac’s city of Desolation Angels, Bucky figured he could let the sharp shock of losing his shot at fame fizzle into a dull ache in this strange town. He wasn’t ready to return home just yet.

Although his one-way plane ticket back to Rockingham, North Carolina had already been paid for, Bucky had also been given a small (to others) sum of money, money he decided to use to see this town full of queers and weirdos. He wandered for about an hour when he stumbled upon someone who would change his life forever.

It was early. He needed coffee. He noticed a cafe in the distance, and grateful it was open, he hastened his steps. He stepped inside The Last Chance Cafe. There was only one person there, his back to the door. The bored cashier yawned and stared blankly at the hesitant visitor.

Jangly folk music played on the speakers; static pops punctuated the songs and gave the cafe a timeless, black-and-white photograph feel.

Bucky stepped up and ordered coffee and an egg and cheese sandwich. Out of the silence came a deep voice spoken with teenage boy cadences:

“Egg and cheese sandwich. Add some pepper, some butter. Throw in some chorizo. Man, it’s the basic things in life that are worth getting up for, huh?”
»continue reading Brian Jonestown Massacre Fan Fiction

Imagine this scene. You are at the Museum of Neon Arts. You are having a pleasant time, enjoying the neon art, but you have this nagging suspicion that somehow the experience of the neon art could be enhanced. Finally, after a long moment of consideration, and after your neon art viewing companion says, “What is your problem? Do you want to leave?” you turn to said companion and say, “You know what would make this neon art viewing experience even better? A nice choko of sake.”

Now, imagine this scene. You are at a sake bar. You are having a good time, enjoying the sake, but you have this nagging suspicion that somehow the sake experience could be enhanced. Finally, after a moment of consideration, you turn to your sake drinking companions and say, “You know what would make this sake even better? Some neon art work. I’m sitting here drinking this sake but my sense of sight is receiving little to no stimulation.”

The Little Tokyo Service Center, a social service and community economic development agency providing a wide range of services to the Los Angeles community, has addressed the lack of sake/neon art events and come up with Sake Illuminated, a special one-night benefit program held at the Museum of Neon Arts.

Enjoy a unique evening of sake, art and entertainment where sake and food pairings offer guests a tantalizing experience for their palettes. Sake experts will be on hand to provide an education on the sake and food pairings at the various sake and hors d’ oeuvres stations. As guests sample the offerings, they will also be able to view the “As We Glow” exhibit at the Museum of Neon Arts and speak to Asian American neon artists regarding the work on display.

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Want to go? In the comments section below suggest a tasty beverage/artwork pairing. Our favorite response gets a pair of tickets for this special event. The contest ends Monday, April 24 at noon and the winner will be notified by email.

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Sake Illuminated
Thursday, April 27, 2006
6:30 pm – 9:00 pm
Museum of Neon Arts
501 West Olympic Blvd.
Purchase Tickets

Visit our concert calendar for a full show list, links to buy tickets and our top picks.

Pick of the Week: Christopher O’Riley @ Getty
On Friday night the Getty becomes a no-spin zone as Christopher O’Riley plays classical transcriptions of Elliot Smith songs for the conservative right.

Heads up: 6/30 Band of Horses @ Echo

MONDAY
Easter Candy @ 50% off

TUESDAY
Lisa Germano, Trespassers William
People Under the Stairs @ Amoeba (free)
M’s @ Silverlake Lounge

WEDNESDAY
Josh Rouse @ Henry Fonda
Dresden Dolls @ Virgin Hollywood and Highland (free)
Dresden Dolls @ Jimmy Kimmel
Aimee Mann @ Largo
Peanut Butter Wolf, J.Rocc, Melo D @ Knitting Factory
Yerba Buena @ USC

THURSDAY
Gram Rabbit @ Tower Sunset (free)
Stills @ Troubadour
My Barbarian @ REDCAT
Joshua Redman Trio @ USC
Madlib & Dudley Perkins @ Conga Room
David Garza @ Largo

FRIDAY
Christopher O’Riley interprets Elliot Smith @ Getty (free w/rsvp)
Brian Jonestown Massacre @ Little Radio
Dinosaur Jr. @ Troubadour
My Barbarian @ REDCAT
Super Diamond @ House of Blues
Industrial Jazz Group @ Barnsdall
Gram Rabbit @ Echo
Drez @ Amoeba (free)
Buckethead @ Fonda

SATURDAY
Brian Jonestown Massacre @ Little Radio
Dinosaur Jr. @ Troubadour
Yonder Mountain String Band @ House of Blues
Neil Hamburger @ Knitting Factory (two shows)
My Barbarian @ REDCAT
Elected, Silversun Pickups @ El Rey
Moore Brothers @ Amoeba (free)
Scott Kempner @ Amoeba (free)
Soundlessons @ Echo
Future Pigeon @ Sea Level (free)
Charanga Cakewalk @ Conga Room

SUNDAY
Luka Bloom, Maxwell Mosher Band @ Knitting Factory

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