Costco Warehouse No. 479 is located on 13463 Washington Blvd., Lat: 33.99116 (N 33°59.470’) (N 33°59’28.2″) (WGS 84 datum) Lon:-118.44612 (W118°26.767’) (W118°26’46.0″). It boasts a large paddle inductive and Avcon conductive EV charging station three sizes too small to accommodate the West Side Prius population, and has a large fossil fuel pump station for members (ten cents off per gallon). You can find parking by driving into oncoming flows of traffic and honking (like a jerk, if possible).

Enjoy a delicious hot dog, polish sausage, chicken Caesar or slice of pizza before you ever become a member. And once you become a member, go inside or just loiter among the shopping carts. The secret? Options.

Costco Culver City is large and inviting, too large to be appreciated by anyone or anything. Like the girls at Spearmint Rhino, the high shelves clamor for your dollars by dancing and wriggling on poles set above the promenade. Behold, jewels and history books, three pound bags of Doritos, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. It’s all for the taking. One minute you’re hanging nose-to-nose with a pair of socks, and the next, there’s some dude jumping out at you with a toothpick of jalapeno sausage. I told you it was different. COSTCO BURBANK? Sausage guy sucked.

Now if you’re daring, here’s something you can do. Make your way cautiously past the entrance hucksters and their digital camera devices, avoiding eye contact at all times, to the appliances. You’ll catch yourself muttering, “If only I had that 50 inch Sony HDTV, I’d use it for a computer monitor!” Try it. If you run quickly into the mirror aisle, you can watch yourself subvocalize this statement before the buzz wears off.

Eventually, you will pour into a bigger defragmented retail-run-together chamber that defies analysis.

The COSTCO CULVER CITY security personnel traverse the parking lot in golf carts and are very friendly and well-traveled. I once offered my spare cigar to a cue ball headed SECURITAS worker and he gave me a hand-rolled Perdomo of chocolate-flavored tobacco grown in Nicaragua, which he produced from his security jacket. True!

PARTING GLANCE: Costco Culver City shepherds Hollywood Video, Subway, and Starbucks No. 665 like a big ram protecting its ewes.

a stern look or impassive wave of the hand may fool the doorman, but you need at least a Gold Member Card to buy anything.

Whelp. That’s Costco Culver City. See it from space. OO