Losanjealous IS SELLING It on eBay
By Ron - Wednesday January 31st 2007
Too busy to list your own items on eBay? Then you definitely don’t have time to deal with an eBay reseller. Let Losanjealous sell your items through a third, fourth or fifth party service. Don’t delay, see for yourself why Losanjealous IS SELLING It on eBay!
| iSOLD It on eBay | We’ll SELL It on eBay | Losanjealous IS SELLING It on eBay | |
| Uninspired Logo |  |
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| Verb Tense | Past | Future Indicative | Present Progressive |
| LA Locations | 3 | 2 | Inaugural store groundbreaking ceremony Q2′07 |
| Numerical explanation of how it works | It’s as easy as 1-2-3 | It’s as simple as 1, 2, 3 | YAY! JELL-O 1-2-3! |
| Amount you keep if item sells for $100 | $57.75 | $57.73 | $5.77 |
| Negative eBay Feedback Last 12 Months | 56 | 47 | ZERO! |
| # of items at press time | 357 | 167 | Operators are standing by |
I thought we agreed we were going with the FUTURE PERFECT:
“By tomorrow, we will have sold your item!”
No, future perfect didn’t test well in Canoga Park. We also nixed the pluperfect subjunctive “Losanjealous HAD SOLD it on eBay” because it was already trademarked.
I still vote for conditional progressive… at least test the concept. “Losanjealous WOULD BE SELLING it on eBay”
Guys, this is a dead issue. We already printed business cards.
Egyptian Lover:
Given the opportunity to open your very own “I sold it online for your lazy ass and charged ludicrous commission to boot” store, what would you call it, with which verb tense, and why?
Thanks for all that you do,
_ryan
Guys, I’m telling you, the SUBJUNCTIVE is huge in Asian and Latin American markets.
“If it were to be sold by anyone, we would be the ideal party.”
But your key asset is the brand name “Losanjealous”. Why not use Losanjealous as a verb, then conflate the verb into a deverbalized adjective?
“eBay Losanjealousens when we sell it.”
Good, but complex. I still think some sort of conditional is the way to go. “Losanjealous WOULD LIKE TO BE SELLING it on eBay” …
It has a certain ring. I can see it in a strip mall.
Why are we still talking about this? Also, pick up your business cards at the front desk.
(Losanjealous SHOULD NOT BE PREVENTED FROM SELLING it on eBay)
see me
“Whereas it were altogether Meet that Losanjealous should Barter, Purvey, and in all-ways Commodotize Goods Fungible and Exemplary on eBay; and as a Commonweal Imbibes and Sustains itself on the Mother’s Milk of that Plenteous Teat denominated Commerce; let it be known that this Site demurs not at the Taking up and Selling of the Proprietous Citizenry of Losanjealous their Mini-Grills and iPod Holsters for a Commission of not greater than 26%”
Best wishes,
E.L.
[...] pieces as Adam Morrison’s Five Stages of Grief, Know Your Local Asian Newswcasters, Losanjealous IS SELLING It on eBay and a giant photograph of Jeff Porcaro…Ron stays out of the way of writing these days but [...]