The Science of Sake @ California Somethin’ or Other
Starry’z gonna hate herself for doing this but she’s gotta introduce you to her best friend Smooches. She works in a law firm. If she wuz a shirt it would say “49% Angel, 1000% Bitch–Don’t Push Me” She’s loud and stupid and shops at Forever 21. When she talks I want to throw up. Starry kind of hates her. But she has amazing JUGGZ!!! So Starry called her up and said “Do you want to eat sushi and wear name tagzz?” and she said “Hellz yeah!” and Starry said “Awesomezzz!”
So we had to go to the California Science Center, which Starry thought was like a hip club downtown. But it’s not. It’s a California Science Center. And we had to be there by 6 or something, and Starry’z like, What is that number you invented? “6”??? What is that? Starry doesn’t know what that izz but Smoochez drove so we were only three hours late PH3W!!!!
Starry also didn’t know that part of eating sushi and getting drunk at the Kalifo7nia sKience Kenter was there was going to be all these characters there from this famous science movie. Starry can’t say b/c peeps are hatin’ on her theez dayz and she can’t paint her nailzz w/o some1 giving her a “7eaze and D-cyzt”. Itz an old story but so are ur Reebok Pumpz. Anywayz it’z a rilly famous movie. It happened a long long time before now in a place very very not here. Letzz call it SSSPACE BATHROBEZZZ. There was a chick dressed like the chick from the movie. She was wearing white bathrobes. A couple dudes were wearing brown bathrobes. There was a little green dude wearing little bathrobes. Smooches said that wuz a puppet and I said STOP HATING!!!!!
8nyWay7zzZ. . .the eatzzz wuz on point! And the nametagz 2! Mine said “Starry Nights” and Smoochez’Zz said “Anoosh Mohamzadeh” There was oysters and noodles and tofu and paper you could eat. We wUr drinking sake from the kyoootest little plastic cups. After about 3hirty of them Starry said “Smooches these look like elf thimbles” and she said “Space nerds are hottt!” Aftur anothur niN9tee9n elf sakes Starry told Smooches that she had 2 hit on the guys in front of us with the glo-stixxx. The conVursation went someth1ng like this:
“Are you Frodo?”
“Who are you?”
“I’m [name redacted]. I’m [redacted]’s father. After training with [redacted] I turned to the [redacted] of the [redacted]”
“Wow how many bathrobes are you wearing?”
HEE H## thoze guyz were nerdy and kyoot but we had to sit down and then Smooches passed out a little bit. That’s ok becuz Starry has to tell u my starrlings that she wuz lyin’ a little bit b/c when she wuz a Lil’ Starry she went to all those science mooveez and she wuz all’ bout’ ’em’. She es3eciall7 liked the 2 robots, the short one and the English one. The Englizh 1 was so dorky 5tarry wished he would shut up. Starry wished he would keep talking. Starry wished she could ki33 him on his little robot O mouth!!! Sighzzz.
Starry’z grade for SakeScience: MAY THE UPPP ONZZ+++ BE WITH U!!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAZZZzzZzz3Zz37zZZZZ