Where has the time gone? Valentine’s Day, cursed and blessed alike, is upon us yet again. One year ago we launched the Losanjeaous Escort Service, pairing two strangers and sending them into the heart of the city for Cuban food. Jeremy (the escort) and Sarah (his charge) were fortified with an open dinner tab at La Bodeguita de Pico, two tickets to Spaceland, $50 cash for incidentals and a strongly-worded suggestion to check out a dive bar called “The Cottage.” The night would prove to be a fateful one for both - that is, if you consider going for drinks at The Cottage fateful - but why listen to me? From Jeremy’s recap:

As we were talking someone surreptitiously sidled up to our table. She placed a blank white business card on the edge of our meal and ran out of the restaurant. I turned it over and it read simply “Losanjealous,” in plain black letters. We were tagged, were seen, were possibly being watched and had been/will be the entire night. Though we never quite reached paranoia levels, we were certainly mindful of the eyes that drifted towards us.

In the next few days we’ll be checking in with both Sarah and Jeremy to see just what they’ve been up to for the last 365 days and how their lives have changed as a result of that fated night. Stick around; this should be fun.

THE LOSANJEALOUS ESCORT SERVICE, 2007
» The contest is announced
» The details are solidified
» The finalists are presented
» The winner is chosen
» Sarah tells her tale
» Jeremy tells his tale

Scandinavian automotive news rocks the Westside late today: Saab of Santa Monica, one of just three remaining Saab dealerships in LA County, is fated to be shuttered forever on February 1, 2008, having been taken over by a Cadillac dealership. Their website has already been taken offline.

I remain ambivalent on the news of their imminent demise. While I won’t miss the ridiculous markups on their parts and service, there was something about their unassuming presence on Santa Monica Blvd., their always-full pot of burnt profoundly terrible coffee and “complementary” off-site car washes that made the shop an enjoyable, if quirky destination.

There are few reasons I can in good conscience direct anyone to visit Sherman Oaks–no, not even the new ArcLight–but in there in Sherman Oaks remains one of two Greater Los Angeles area Saab dealerships. CORRECTION: The other is down in the South Bay in Torrance in Pasadena. [Thanks commenters, you're my fact-checking cuz.]

Better yet, orphaned Swedish motorcar enthusiasts in need of service would do well to find a good independent shop. I recommend Viking Motors on Pico, freeway convenient and walking distance from Joker.

Fun fact: Kurt Vonnegut managed Saab of Cape Cod. He was not able to name it “Cape Cod Saab” as he desired as Saab corporate HQ mandates the “Saab” must come first in the official business name. (Note that precise transposition typo in the header of the enclosed letter.)

Crushing a taco at the Boyle Heights King Taco, Hillary erases any and all doubt that she’s one of the people. No word on whether the red salsa made her tear up.

Barack, the gauntlet’s been thrown down. When you swing through town, you better drop in on Cactus #1 or other Top 5 taco shack.

KING TACO

Photos: Reuters

Continuing with his mission to conquer not two, not three, but four or more of the cutest, most miniscule stages on the west side of Los Angeles, Frank Stallone and his band will perform at the Santa Monica Bar and Grill on Pico Boulevard this evening. From a member of the band himself:

That’s right!
Let Frank Stallone and his band bring in the New Year for you
Friday January 4th
Santa Monica Bar and Grill on Pico just East of Centinella
9:30pm

»continue reading Stallone Slated To Perform “Award Winning Songs” On Miniature Santa Monica Stage Tonight

In which the project that has plagued these office walls all the long year resurfaces and adroitly introduces itself to casual reader and savage unscrupulite alike…


As a nonsubtle reminder, we collect and parse an inordinate amount of data regarding the boulevard of Pico dreams. At this time (9 OCTOBER 2007) we’d like to open the doors again. Please leave answers in comments or to project-pico @ losanjealousdotcom . . .

1) What is your favorite establishment on Pico Blvd?
2) How often do you find yourself driving on Pico - Daily? More than once Daily? Weekly? Hourly? Etc (Bus Drivers: Please indicate you are a bus driver in some fashion for follow-ups)
3) What is your favorite time of day to say the word, ‘Pico’ ?
4) Would you like to be contacted and/or quoted regarding topical Pico Blvd information, products and services?

Construction notices are up in the vacant storefront at the NE corner of Pico/WW Blvds, telegraphing an impending retail launch. The space—if I recall correctly, originally a Good Guys A/V joint and then, briefly, just before its current dusty state, a hasty incarnation of Comp USA— is being primed for the opening of a new Guitar Center location. It will be interesting to watch how this store takes root in the area and what, if any, effect it will have on nearby music shops.
»continue reading Guitar Center Coming to the Westside

LOSANJEALOUS (Losanjealous) :: Via the anonymous tip wire today comes the as-yet-unconfirmed news that Frank Stallone (brother and esteemed sparring partner to the one and-only pudding-slinging thespian Sylvester) will rock the UnUrban Coffee Shop on Pico Boulevard Tuesday evening, July 10, with full Frank Stallone Band™ in tow.

The anonymous inside source also advises this will not be the first time the Stallone-infused grouping will have mounted the miniature stage at UnUrban of late, having last taken the wee stage June 26. The band was further spotted at Cinema Bar in Culver City last weekend, in part of what appears at surface to be an extensive tour of the tiniest stages on the west side of Los Angeles. Catch the act now while it’s still being polished: Come Labor Day, Stallone takes the dogs and ponies all the way to Atlanta for Dragon Con.

Dragon Con.

For the love of god somebody please turn out tomorrow, snap a few quality photos and review the gig for us. We are begging you.

Denizens! As promised, our Losanjealous Escort Service participants have written up last Saturday’s historic undertaking. To commemorate the ‘Day of Cupids Hearts and Shit Like That’, we now present both sides of the tale for your enjoyment.

Up to bat: PhotoJanitor tells his side of the tale……

Let’s back up a bit. From the initial posting on the site to the actual date, I had garnered some underground fame. Someone stopped me at the gym, having recognized my eyeless face. A friend of a friend asked Isn’t that [redacted]? Some homeless guy on the street looked into my car and asked for change and an autograph. It was a quite a trip for three days, though the zenith of this whole stunt was still to come.

Above: Escort and charge enjoy La Bodeguita De Pico (Credit: Losanjealous MustacheCam 8000)

I had made verbal contact with #2 and I made sure she wasn’t Karl Rove’s niece. Check. Actually, she sounded rather pleasant, which was a welcome respite from what I might have had to undergo had some of you’s gotten your way. We agreed to meet at the Little Wine Cellar and we were on our way.

From the first minute of our dinner at La Bodeguita, it was clear that it would be a harmonious evening in which conversation would flow and stories would be told.
»continue reading Point/Counterpoint: The Losanjealous Escort Service Recap: A Janitor’s Tale

Denizens! As promised, our Losanjealous Escort Service participants have written up last Saturday’s historic undertaking. To commemorate the ‘Day of Cupids Hearts and Shit Like That’, we now present both sides of the tale for your enjoyment.

First Up: Contestant #2 tells her side……

Above: Escort and charge enjoy La Bodeguita De Pico (Credit: Losanjealous MustacheCam 8000)

I must admit that, as shocked and humbled as I was to win, I expected to be much more nervous than I actually was, especially since I was a blind-date virgin. I attribute my composure, in part, to the fact that I knew what PSJ would look like, in part, whereas he had foolishly agreed to spend an entire evening with a potential ogress. As I conducted my pre-date primp, I felt pretty confident in knowing I would at least start out with points on the board, since there was a better-than-average chance that PSJ’s first impression would be something along the lines of, “thank God she’s got all 10 digits and a full set of teeth.”
»continue reading Point/Counterpoint: The Losanjealous Escort Service Recap: Number Two’s Tale

Ask anyone where the best burger is to be had in LA and chances are someone’s going to say The Apple Pan, possibly out of personal taste, but just as likely out of a rote regurgitation of the popular consensus. Personally, I’ve always thought it was decent, but overrated, overpriced and inconsistent. Every other burger I’ve had there is sloppy and under cooked. Even when perfect, the flavor seems lacking and—forgive the sacrilege—on a good day, a Fatburger can come pretty close to an Apple Pan burger.

ScanningCounter Intelligence, one finds Jonathan Gold leaving the question of the food itself to the last of his four brief paragraphs on The Apple Pan—the first three of which are devoted to the restaurant history, floor plan, modus operandi and personal fond personal memories of it. This strikes me as the right 3-to-1 proportion of overall ambiance-to-food critiquing that one should bring to The Apple Pan. While his adjectives are positive, his praise of the food is somewhat restrained.
»continue reading So Long, Apple Pan