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The Quest for Cuatacroke™

By - Monday April 03rd 2006

chapalitaEast side. No place finer. Just kicking it, 30 minutes to sundown. I armwrestle my wireless provider for taco-centric recommendations. “Robot of my Treo,” I type in furiously. “You have been there for me in the past (one, two). I need again. Treo Robot I need you now perhaps more than any other time. I call upon you, robot. Four dollars have I, no more, no less. I crave. I’ve a craving. Tacos. I crave tacos. East side. What say you.”

45 minutes pass. No answer. The robot is fucking with me.

Suddenly it comes at once. A great wave of text. Robot is terse. Irate. Done with this project.

“TACOS CHAPALITA 2929 N BROADWAY FOUR DOLLARS FOUR TACOS ONE COKE CUATRO TACOS COKE NO TAX ; ~~ LOL ”

Somebody’s using one of those area scramblers. The screen goes fuzzy. My hand tingles from the heat.

chapalita“CUATACO CUATRACO CUATACRO TACOKE ~~~ ”

CUATACROKE™–”

Something of an amalgam of cuatro, taco, Coke™. I go to the address. Four dollars and not hungry later, I’m done. A man sits at the streamlined counter gazing toward Lincoln Heights, Treo-looking device in one hand, Tamarindo in the other [photo]. I get up the nerve to ask, “Do you work for [redacted wireless provider] ? ”

He turns slowly, grinning. He doesn’t answer. Paranoia runs deep but it’s never run east. What’s going on here.

Tacos Chapalita
Arguably the best deal in the entire city (guaranteed™ by Ryan’s Wireless Provider)
2929 N Broadway
Lincoln Heights
323.222.4751




What now?

6 Responses to “The Quest for Cuatacroke™

  1. Posted by Jen 4/4/06 at 12:59 pm #

    yo, what wireflesh provider… this sounds awesome

  2. Posted by Vidalia 4/4/06 at 2:34 pm #

    i have the same wireflesh beta program running on my Razor. i typed in ‘big dong burrito’ and an echo park zip code just to see what would happen and it sent me to El Tepeyac in Boyle Heights. funny!

  3. Posted by Shari 4/11/06 at 1:50 pm #

    I tried Tacos Chapalita, last week. The tacos are horrible. The shack like walk up counter is filthy. I’m a teacher at the local high school and thought it would be nice to try something different and inexpensive. Save your money and pack a sandwich.

  4. Posted by Streets @ Fonda: The Timely Review 6/29/06 at 7:44 pm #

    [...] Good Sweet Fantasti-Lasti, my [redacted] wireless internet provider is officially fired, and this time I really mean it. We sent a reviewer to check out Lady Sov and Streets @ Fonda NINE AND TEN DAYS ago. Said reviewer claimed to have been live-blogging the show via Treo™, but I received nary word. [...]

  5. Posted by Last Minute Tuesday Plan: Less Jack More Jill 12/4/07 at 8:31 pm #

    [...] and assorted miscellany @ Airliner (Broadway, Lincoln Heights, dangerously near porno burrito and chapalita). Go check out Voxhaul Broadcast prior to their upcoming Spaceland and Silverlake Lounge gigs – on [...]

  6. Posted by New Live Daedelus: Now’s The Time 1/10/08 at 12:49 pm #

    [...] which was recorded live at Airliner’s weekly Low End Theory night, just down the street from Tacos Chapalita. The album, unsurprisingly titled Live At Low End Theory, drops 1/22. Still no street date on that [...]


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