The Quest for Cuatacroke™
East side. No place finer. Just kicking it, 30 minutes to sundown. I armwrestle my wireless provider for taco-centric recommendations. “Robot of my Treo,” I type in furiously. “You have been there for me in the past (one, two). I need again. Treo Robot I need you now perhaps more than any other time. I call upon you, robot. Four dollars have I, no more, no less. I crave. I’ve a craving. Tacos. I crave tacos. East side. What say you.”
45 minutes pass. No answer. The robot is fucking with me.
Suddenly it comes at once. A great wave of text. Robot is terse. Irate. Done with this project.
“TACOS CHAPALITA 2929 N BROADWAY FOUR DOLLARS FOUR TACOS ONE COKE CUATRO TACOS COKE NO TAX ; ~~ LOL ”
Somebody’s using one of those area scramblers. The screen goes fuzzy. My hand tingles from the heat.
“CUATACO CUATRACO CUATACRO TACOKE ~~~ ”
“CUATACROKE™–”
Something of an amalgam of cuatro, taco, Coke™. I go to the address. Four dollars and not hungry later, I’m done. A man sits at the streamlined counter gazing toward Lincoln Heights, Treo-looking device in one hand, Tamarindo in the other [photo]. I get up the nerve to ask, “Do you work for [redacted wireless provider] ? ”
He turns slowly, grinning. He doesn’t answer. Paranoia runs deep but it’s never run east. What’s going on here.
Tacos Chapalita
Arguably the best deal in the entire city (guaranteed™ by Ryan’s Wireless Provider)
2929 N Broadway
Lincoln Heights
323.222.4751
