The Great Book of Los Angeles Locksmith Shacks is nearing completion, but our photography is still lacking. You can help! Have a photo of a Los Angeles-based locksmith shack to share? Send it to me, or upload it to the Los Angeles Locksmith Shack group on Flickr today. My five favorite submissions within the next two weeks will all receive one random, all-new cd (nothing cruddy - scout’s honor) from the Losanjealous music library. You will also be notified of compensation options, should your submission eventually be chosen for offline publication. Godspeed.

» What is a Locksmith Shack?
» Where might I find a Locksmith Shack?
» Locksmith Shacks: Are they dangerous?

NAME: El Jalapeño

LOCATION: Beverly/Normandie. I believe this neighborhood is known as LITTLE EVERYTHING

JUSTIFICATION: Looks dodgy. Always wanted to try.

SHACKFACTOR: High. Man sleeping in back booth. TV works about as well as oki-dog’s: loud, unwatchable, poor antenna signal. Between static bursts I sense a western or cop movie. Lots of shouting and gunfights. Paper towels galore. I could get used to this.

BURRITO: Pastor ‘con todo’. Giant fucking burrito for a mere $4. Filled the plate. Bigger and heavier than a hard-fired mason brick. That said, quantity bested quality. Giant globules of fat were nestled deep within. I couldn’t finish the fucker. Keep moving. Salsa bar nearly induced a retch. Photos of the goods after the jump.
»continue reading This Week In Giant Fucking Burritos: El Jalapeño

Hello, vegetarian.

Hello.

Was this your first time to Oki-Dog?

Yes.

What did you order and why?

The vegetarian burrito, because I didn’t see the grilled cheese until it was too late.

What was the veggie burrito comprised of?

Iceberg lettuce, chopped tomatoes, onions, sliced dill pickles and shredded cheese wrapped in a giant white flour tortilla by a toothless man. He offered to put chili in it for me. I declined.

How was the veggie burrito?
»continue reading Ask A Vegetarian About Oki-Dog

The Canadians discussed his future mere hours ago. Readers were actually shocked into silence. Today’s photo: The Last Remaining Shotgun Shack In Santa Monica™ sits quietly, awaiting his fate at the corner of 14th and Colorado.

The Canadian Coffee Break brings together some of the finest Canadian minds in Southern California every week for a topical, lively round-tablesque discussion over very dark coffee. Won’t you join us.

In this week’s installment, Santa Monica’s “Historic Shotgun Shack” finally wins approval to be preserved - and moved - adjacent to the Ocean Park branch of the Santa Monica Library, as reported by the Argonaut. From the paper:

Santa Monica’s last remaining intact shotgun house has been through a lot since it was built in the late 1890s at 2712 Second St. < snip >

At the council meeting, all but one of the several who spoke supported the relocation of the house to Norman Place and Second Street, a parking lot across from the Ocean Park Branch Library, which some call an “eyesore.” < snip >

“The parking lot is really trashy. It’s not well kept; it’s not well lit. It’s got trash bins on it. For years, the library and retail stores have been complaining about this lot. And here’s an opportunity to clean it up.”

How do the California Canadians feel about this turn of events? Keep reading…
»continue reading Canadian Coffee Break: Santa Monica’s Shotgun Shack

Like a Phoenix he rises suddenly, staring agelessly at San Vicente and La Brea.

I am Shack!
Attention, Traffic!
Attention, Los Angeles!
Attention…World!
Especially Attention, Out-Of-Control SUVs:
Fuck You! For I am Shack! And
This Be Mine Place In The World!
To This, I Am Resigned!
To This, I Am Committed!

Rejuvenated Santa Monica Blvd façade touts improvements in taste, service, chili, cheese

Current Score: 92 A

Violations: 017 Holding of PHF
052 Storage
058 Not Maintained Clean
063 Sink and Fixtures/Floor Sink/Floor Drain
074 Exterior Premises

Inspection Date: 01/17/2007

Related
The Coveted “A” …Photographic Closeup
BREAKING NEWS: OKI-DOG UPGRADED TO “B” HEALTH RATING …
Oki-Dog: Why Is It So Fucking Fascinating?

Longtime readers of this site may be familiar with my obsession affinity for shacks (examples: one, two, three). Two years ago I relocated to the Fairfax District and eagerly accepted a goyim title. Fellow denizens it gives me great pleasure to announce that my all-time favorite Jewish holiday, affectionately dubbed “Season of the Shacks” for lack of knowledge, is upon us yet again. At this time of year all of my Orthodox neighbors build shack-like dwellings in their driveways. They get dressed to the nines, eat giant meals and sing traditional songs - all in the shack - as often as possible. To say I am jealous would be an understatement of ludicrous proportion.

That said, my lack of knowledge regarding the shacktastic tradition has been a sore spot for two years running. This year, I decided to get to the bottom of things. I’m speaking today with Robin, my neighbor. For the record, Robin is of non-Orthodox Jewish descent. Let’s do this.

First of all, what is the name of this holiday?

Sukkot.

What is the significance of the “shack” and why is one of the aforementioned currently swaying in a parking lot next door?
»continue reading Shacking Up in the Fairfax District

Good Christ but I do have a fascination with locksmith shacks. Why is this?

Top: 5000’s Vermont. Inglewood.
Bottom: 900’s Vermont. Ktown. Frontage assists in hiding venerable blood sausage joint

In a city where things are in constant flux, it is comforting to find Westwood Village’s Shack Row basically remaining the same decade after neverending decade: Sleazy, dirt-cheap, filling as hell. Burgers. Burritos. Buck Fiddy Subs. Korean BBQ. Falafel. All manner of shackfood for the broke college student.

The below photo was submitted yesterday by an associate of one of our hundred-dozen field reporters.

Locale: Shack Row
Chicken Burrito: $2.50
Shoe Size (for scale): 12

Foot-in-mouth jokes aside, it certainly gives Lincoln Heights’ SuperDongBurrito a run for the money when you consider you could conceivably juggle two 12″ dongs for .50 less than the price of one SuperDong. Talk about doubling down. Let me hear you:

Shack Row! We Love You!
We Don’t Know What We’d Do
Without your Dongs for $2.50
As Big As My Damn Shoe!

Last week, Ray’s Statues, the venerable shack profiled in these very pages recently, was destroyed when it was involved in a car accident. Well, using the word “involved” makes it seem like the shack had some choice in the matter. In reality, it just sat there, unable to dodge a direct hit from the vehicular assassin. And maybe it was only a matter of time. Out there near the busy corner of La Brea and San Vicente, the shack could never be more than a stoic sitting duck (and a vendor of superb classical statues). There is still rubble surrounding the shattered, yellow mess of a former statue repository.

My roommate actually was at a nearby dry cleaner shortly after the incident and related to me this eyewitness account: “There were police all over the place and the statue place was already roped off with caution tape. There were little bits of statues everywhere. I love that dry cleaner though because I only went there once and they already know my name there.”

There are reports that the vehicle involved in the incident was an SUV. My roommate could not confirm this — he said the car had already been removed from the scene. We have no more information at this time. And so one question remains, who will fill the South-of-Wilshire shack void left in the wake of this destruction? While we hope everyone
involved in the accident is doing fine, we do know that for one person involved — someone named David™ — everything has just gone to pieces.

Ryan has been understandably shaken since the tragedy, but will follow with his own rememberance and tribute to the beloved statue shack as soon as he regains his composure.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

A second statue shack has been recently spotted on La Brea in mid-city, south of Wilshire and slightly north of San Vicente. It is unknown at press time if this shack is affiliated with Magee’s Donuts Statue Shack on Santa Monica Boulevard. It is also unknown which shack, if either, was chosen to be the famed purveyor of David™s for the House of David™s in Hancock Park. House of David™s would clearly be a gravy account for either shack, to say the least.
At press time it remains a mystery when the southern shack opened its shack doors to the public. In fact very little is known about southern shack whatsoever. This much we do know: The location makes sense. Clearly the South-of-Wilshire area has been in need of a statue shack for some time and the clientele overlap with the original Magee’s Donuts Statue Shack should be minimal, incorporating a small gelatinous slice of Hancock Park and the Miracle Mile.

More details as they are unearthed. Until then, let’s all sing the original Magee’s Statue Shack credo:

Statue Shack! Statue Shack!
You buy-a one statue and you’ll hella-be-back!
Magee’s in your hand, you scour the goods and all the David™s
Purple Moons like charms from Lucky, seven thirty in the mornin’.

Chrissakes, man. You keep reviewing these lunch joints instead of seedy dive bars and people are going to think you’re trying to take on chowhound or the lafoodblogging massive. Still, there is the great western hoagie shack to consider.

I recently saw - by pure accident, mind you - a nondescript brown shack (photo) at the corner of Lincoln and Superba. It’s easy to miss: brown in color, not flashy in the slightest, sitting there on the corner in a stretch of Oakwood adjacency that seems to encourage speeding and not gawking, not for fear of danger so much as the desire to drive out of what is essentially a slowly-crumbling few minutes of your life.

Driving north, their sign has fallen by the wayside. Only the southbound driver can clue in to the fact that this establishment might be worth a closer look. By then though, it’s far too late to turn around in the heat of Lincoln traffic and the driver is already to Mindanao, cursing Marina Del Rey with its facelifts, fake juggs, white mustaches, admiral caps and abundant cocaine.

Having devoured cheesesteaks all over the City of Brotherly Love on more than a few occasions, I was ready to find out if this shack could walk the talk. It’s a simple fact that most places can’t hold up to Philly when it comes to cheesesteaks, no matter their claims.

THE REVIEW

Although these guys give a rat’s ass about the upkeep of the shack and northbound signage, the food is pretty good and I must concede that’s the important part if you have a regular customer base. The sandwiches aren’t fully authentic Philly style, but definitely close enough: hot as hell (photo), juiced as all hell (photo), and worth the money (photo) when you’re extremely hungry. Vegetarians stay away. This is not a place for you. If I were in one of my veggie phases I probably would’ve glazed over this place, anyway - like I said, it’s extremely easy to miss the place when driving.

All things considered, you’re still eating at a shack on the side of the road. Let’s do a side-by-side comparison with another known LA shack, Oki-Dog. Just for shacks and giggles.

So there you have it. The table speaks for itself. What it says is open to interpretation.

In closing, I was all too happy to discover that citysearch has no idea of this shack’s existence. I did find a few chowhound mentions and one quotable page which I shall now share:

It’s located in a shack — if you blink you’ll miss it. I thought it was condemned until I saw someone walk in….but what GREAT VALUE !!
-
Great Western Steak and Hoagie is run by two guys who crank out the best value cheesesteak, and one of the best tasting, in the area. I can see that they put the money into the food and not the decor as there are only two broken tables to sit at.

Couldn’t have said it better myself, unless I were to chop off the preposition. RM