Boston::Los Angeles: A Comparative(ly) Foolish Study

By Ryan - Saturday October 14th 2006

oystahs Every so often while travelling I tend to subconsciously compare and contrast the city I’m visiting against Los Angeles. Fellow denizens, I’ve just returned from Boston. Boston! God damn it. What a city. All these “neighborhoods”… All this “walking”… All this “walking from neighborhood to neighborhood” … All this “bicycling” … All this “riding the subway to get around” … God damn it. I love it. We don’t have it. We drive. So?

Boston has working names for all its little areas. We do too. Boston has hot dog shacks. Damn it, we have hot dog shacks. Boston has big parks. Damn it, we have big parks. It’s uncanny, I tell you. God damn it. I’m going to side-by-side this one. It’s not comprehensive but it’s a start. I said it.

Neighborhoods
They Have…	Which Means…	We Have…	Which Means…
The North End	Little Italy	No Little Italy	Maggiano’s
Beacon Hill	Expensive historic row homes	Bunker Hill	All manner of freaky shit under God
Plymouth Rock	Pilgrims	Eagle Rock	Target
Chinatown	Chinatown	Chinatown	Chinatown
Cambridge	Westwood	Westwood	Cambridge
Brookline	Los Feliz	Los Feliz	Brookline
Jamaica Plain	Brentwood	Brentwood	Jamaica Plain
Jamaicaway	Egregious DUI Corridor	PCH	Egregious Gibson- Nolte Corridor

More foolishness, including photo side-by-sides, after the jump.

Parks
They Have…	Which Means…	We Have…	Which Means…
Franklin Park	Golf	Griffith Park	Ponies
Boston Common/ Public Garden	Public Garden/ Boston Common	MacArthur Park	Pastrami
Arboretum	Huntington Gardens	Huntington Gardens	Arboretum

Culture
In Boston…	In Los Angeles…
Geese are the biggest assholes of all birds	Seagulls are the biggest assholes of all birds
It is possible to see the entire City of Boston in a few hours’ time via bicycle	It is possible to see the entire City of Culver in a few hours’ time via bicycle
Every other man looks like Billy Joel	Every other man looks like Joel Billy (?!)
Every other building you see is (a) college, (b) historic as all hell, or (c) both	Every other building you see is disposeable. Hey, that’s not so bad. That’s not so bad!
People are generally friendly as all hell.	People are adept at judging you silently and immediately. Hey. That’s not so bad. That’s not so bad!

Visuals
In Boston…	In Los Angeles…
Street Meat: Italian Juiced	Street Meat: Baconwrapped
Charles River in Jail	Statue in Jail
Locksmith Shack	Locksmith Shack
Chinatown lounge generally full of itself: Weggie’s	Chinatown lounge generally full of itself: Hop Louie

It’s getting out of hand. I’m stopping. I’m no expert on either city. I just know how to put together a chart. Feel free to add categories and I’ll update as needed. Have a time of it!

What now?

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20 Responses to “Boston::Los Angeles: A Comparative(ly) Foolish Study”

(MV) Pete : 10/14/06 at 1:24 pm

What is now Los Angeles’ Chinatown used to be its Little Italy, prior to the demolition of the old Chinatown for the construction of Union Station. The long-shuttered Little Joe’s and the San Antonio Winery are pretty much the last vestiges of the Italian presence in that area.
Jumpcut : 10/14/06 at 2:10 pm

Huh, that is not a locksmith shack…I’ll bet it even has a basement! A Nor’easter couldn’t put a dent in that building. Whereas the LA locksmith shack could be blown over by an errant Toyota Prius.

BTW — In Boston: Nor’easter In LA: El Nino
Jeannette : 10/14/06 at 2:19 pm

Other than the Eastside Deli and the Catholic Church…. But Ryan’s right, there is no Little Italy.
Omri : 10/15/06 at 6:03 am

Oh come on. Boston?!

We have freeways and street signs
They have… the worst driving conditions in the Western Hempisphere.
(I’m including the unpaved areas of the Amazon never seen by human eyes)

We have Silverlake
They have… hipsters too poor to live in NY
(this one’s actually a wash, I think)

We have USC and Pepperdine
They have… fug

We have Santa Monica
They have… those duck tours thing

We have a basketball team
They have… the Celtics

We have Israelis
They have… the model of the liberal NE Jew
(that one might be a little inside baseball)

We have sunshine
They have… no sunshine
(MV) Pete : 10/15/06 at 12:11 pm

They have…Teresa Heinz Kerry. We have…Arianna Huffington.

Ugh.
godoggo : 10/15/06 at 8:13 pm

“People are friendly as all hell”?????? You were in Boston how long? Jesus.
(MV) Pete : 10/15/06 at 11:32 pm

Well, Ryan’s last name is [redacted] or something very similar. Even the surliest denizen of Southie can recognize a fellow Celt.
(MV) Pete : 10/16/06 at 4:02 am

Booooooo. Ryan, you were identified by first and last names in that one L.A. Weekly article where intrepid reporters were sent to eat at the restaurants with the lowest sanitation grades in the city.
Omri : 10/16/06 at 4:16 am

Pete: I’m not sure I like the tone of your voice when you’re talking about my beloved Chanos… What’s a “lowest sanitation grade” to some is merely a “built-in discount” to others.
Jeff : 10/16/06 at 1:43 pm

We have two basketball teams.

And they have one more football team than we do.

I don’t like Boston compared to L.A….its an unfair comparison, frankly….but football kicks basketball’s ass. Hands down.

And any public library is louder than the Staples center. Playoffs included.
Miles : 10/16/06 at 11:44 pm

Jamaica Plain and Brentwood? Come on! If anything it would be JP and Silver Lake.

Plus a fairer comparison would be sub shops and taco stands or sub shops and burger stands.

Anyway,as an LA native who spent 8 years of my life in Boston, I can honestly say LA kicks ass.

Yeah, I said it. Kicks ass.
Lisa (Blah Blah) : 10/17/06 at 10:16 am

Long-time lurker, first-time poster. I’m going to have to agree with Miles. Silver Lake and JP is a more apt comparison.

Aside from that, love you, love your blog.
Ryan : 10/17/06 at 10:31 am

As fun as it was to get people riled up with a Brooklyn:Van Nuys comparison last time I did this, I’m going to defer to you guys this time. While biking through JP I was told that it was formerly full of artsy types who had been pushed out by high-priced real estate and breeders with dogs. The breeders with dogs bit made me throw Brentwood out there. Let’s face it, I don’t know shit about Boston.
Miles : 10/17/06 at 11:17 am

It’s true that JP has had a lot of gentrification, but so has Silver Lake. Also, though, just like Silver Lake, every block is a different economic strata — one street might be packed with rich breeders while the one next to it might have a cluster of lesbian moms while the next has working class immigrant families. Makes for a fun community! All JP needs is Sunset Junction to pull it all together!
fulana : 10/17/06 at 11:28 am

wow, i can’t believe some one actually compared JP to brentwood! i lived in JP back when it was the GHETTO…
Rick in Duxbury : 10/17/06 at 7:06 pm

and this week, both towns have LA cops being driven home by brother cops after a long night,
safety first!
http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=162666
dorkmaster : 6/5/07 at 12:51 pm

I was born and raised in LA. I’m going to Boston this August, any ideas on what spots to see?
READER EXCLUSIVE: Frank Stallone World Tour™ Begins In Palms : 7/20/07 at 10:15 am

[...] atop miniature stage, dive bar of downtrodden variety, Palms, California. Next stop for the band: Boston. No [...]
Frank : 10/25/07 at 2:44 pm

LA is too full of people that don’t speak english. Boston speaks english!!!! LA doesn’t kick ass, it is a place to get your ass kicked, or gunned down. LA– you drive or die. Boston, cradle of America. LA–cradle of illegal Mexicans. Get a life. No- don’t. Stay there!
Tony : 10/26/07 at 11:24 am

I wish everyone (especially English speaking transplants and immigrants) was as enlightened as Frank so they’d leave L.A. and move to the fine city of Boston.

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Boston::Los Angeles: A Comparative(ly) Foolish Study

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20 Responses to “Boston::Los Angeles: A Comparative(ly) Foolish Study”

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