The Youngwood Court Route Beautification Project
Recently we reported that Norwood Young, proprietor and resident-in-chief of Hancock Park’s notorious Youngwood Court (also affectionately dubbed the House of David™s by city residents), will be prominently featured in an E! reality series titled “High Maintenance 90210.” Today, we offer tips as to how you may personally assist in the beautifying of the route to the fabled Hancock Park manse in the highest-maintenance-fashion possible. Behold: The Youngwood Court Route Beautification Project…
- Find yourself outside the Statue Shack in the parking lot of Magee’s Donuts (6705 Santa Monica Blvd, Tinseltown, USA). If Youngwood Court is the mansion, think of Statue Shack as the gatehouse. Your job is to spruce up the trail between the two.
- Park your car.
- After bussing a few fond “hello kisses” to the trannies loitering outside Magee’s, enter the establishment and promptly order up one cruller and one cup of coffee.
- Exit Magee’s.
- Buy one anatomically correct replica of Michelangelo’s David™ at Statue Shack.
- Slowly drive 2.2 miles to the corner of 3rd and Muirfield.
- Somewhere along your route, leave said replica of Michelangelo’s David™ on the curb with a note explaining that your donation is “for the beautification of the route,” or “para el embellecimiento de la ruta.” Use appropriate verbiage at your own discretion, in the language of your preference.
- Be mindful of spacing. If the person in front of you left a David™ ten feet down the curb, do the math to see whether or not you should split this distance or go another ten feet further down the street. When in doubt, spacing rules at 3rd and Muirfield apply.
- Treat yourself to something cold and refreshing. You’ve just done a good deed.