Millions of Wireless Angelenos Fear Felony Rap

Apparently borrowing somebody’s wi-fi signal is a third degree felony. Ye crikeys…Felony! Is anybody else as blown away by this story as I am?

Benjamin Smith III, 41, faces a pretrial hearing this month following his April arrest on charges of unauthorized access to a computer network, a third-degree felony.

Police say Smith admitted using the Wi-Fi signal from the home of Richard Dinon, who had noticed Smith sitting in an SUV outside Dinon’s house using a laptop computer.

In keeping with form here’s a terrible poem that may or may not be read aloud during Smith’s arraignment. Please contact me if you would like to use this poem in court.

Steal the Wi-Fi Signal
In a curb-side S. U. V.
You Steal the Wi-Fi Signal
While I pause to take a pee?

But then you steal the Wi-Fi Signal
While I’m making dark cof-fee.
And then the cops they come and get you
Third degree, Smith. Fel-ony!