Dita Von Teese’s “Strip Strip Hooray!” Burlesque at the Roxy Theater, December 15, 2010

Earlier this year at Coachella in the VIP bathroom, as I wiped sweat and desert dirt off my face, I saw an immaculately made-up woman with flawless hair pinned under a posh hat, perfect red lipstick, and a clean, white ruffled dress. AND HEELS. Who could pull that off in 100-degree, dusty, sweaty music festival conditions?

Of course: the impeccable Dita Von Teese.

At the Roxy Theatre this Wednesday night, Ms. Von Teese was as flawless and flirtatious as ever. It was her last show of a 3-day, 2-show-a-night burlesque showcase entitled “Strip Strip Hooray!” Dita oozed the old Hollywood, pin-up girl style and glam, and gave the Roxy equal doses of foxy and sexy.

She started off the night marching up and down her catwalk to and from a Swarovski crystal-encrusted carousel horsie, which she then seductively danced around on. She smiled at the audience as she waved giant, pink feather fans in front of herself, removing layers of crystal-sparkly clothing until she was down to just crystal pasties and thong. The woman puts vajazzling to shame. Meow.

To get things even steamier, Dita took a provocative bath on stage, again a few jewels and crystals away from being completely nude. Her golden, glittery clawfoot tub had a working hand shower, which she used to playfully spray the crowd from between her–ahem!

Interspersed with Dita’s performances was a cast of characters large and small, male and female (and questionable). Most of the teases started with feathers and long gloves, and ended in tassels swinging and pasties pert. One woman came out dressed as a big weed leaf made of green feathers and sparkles, dancing around with tiny dancer/actress Selene Luna; the two got rhine-stoned off a giant, fake joint, all to the tune of Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb.” You can imagine, this was a big hit with the California crowd. Another strange-but-awesome moment was when one of the shows only (I think?) male performers kissed and caressed an amputated mannequin leg to Van Halen’s “Drop Dead Legs.” Just learned a new term: boy-lesque.

The grand finale was Dita stripping down from pink crystal chaps and hopping on a pink plush bejeweled bull with crystal-encrusted horns. She wore nothing but some strategically placed pink glitz and a sparkly cowboy hat, bucking around in all kinds of titillating fashion to a Patsy Cline tune.

I think many jaws are still on the floor of the Roxy. Let’s hope Dita isn’t being a tease and takes this show on tour.

Photo linked from celebrity-gossip.net . A few more shots over there of the potentially NSFW variety.