PCH, Santa Barbara, Ojai: Scattered Takeaways

“…So we actually have four iPods in the car? That’s a full deck. Good to know.”

“…That house right there with “The Party’s Here!” in neon. Christian used to always threaten to just go ring the door one day with a sixpack in his hand. “Somebody told me the party was here?”

“So apparently Dennis Hopper actually made a giant replica of that La Salsa Muffler Man.”
“Is it art, if you just take something that’s already been done and make it again basically the same?’
“Arguable. Arguable. Thing about muffler man though is that he apparently has a lantern jaw. One arm up, one down.”
“Yeah, like he’s wielding a club, right?”
“Muffler.”

“…A toast to the Riviera of the West Coast: It is good to be alive.”
“You mean of the Americas.”
“That too. Why limit. It’s got the burden of two continents… it’s pulling weight, I’m saying!”

“…I had to sit down and go over the statutory laws of Idaho with at least two different members of the group…”

“…I would love to just punch you in the jaw right now…”

“…It was pavlovian. Even if you weren’t tired you’d get in this habit of falling instantly asleep in the other guys’ cars. So you were basically guaranteed two extra naps per day…”
“Damn it I love naps.”

“…We need to go over your strategy. Approach the counter. Bracelet on the one hand, inside your sleeve if possible. Glass in the other hand. Then you distract them. Talk about the vineyard, the band that’s playing, their shirt or something. Get ‘em off on a tangent and eventually just sort of drift away. If they ask for it, fine, no loss. But your chances of a free pour are increased immeasurably. G’head, give it a try…”

“…Without doubt you are an auteur. Your skills in metallurgy, art, crafts are second to none. Of course you are peerless. Perchance… do you have anything a little less…horseshoey?”
“You know, the fourth time it really was funny to me. The first three times…it was ok but the fourth time I heard the joke, it was funny.”
“Oh you’re going to hear it several more times, my friend. I can’t stop saying it. I’m going Letterman approach here, pound ‘em over the head with it…”

“My good god. She’s completely passed out cold on the table!”
“I know.”
“Who’s in the other chair d’you s’pose… It’s gotta be that girl over there. Drunk as hell.”
“Naw. The lady at the table is….this dude’s wife.”
“This guy right here playing pool with the drunky?!”
“Yeah.”

“So do your students ever make you feel old?”
“Yeah. And then I make them feel dumb.”

“…This bathroom situation is bullshit. You can believe I’m taking it up with the Mayor and the Rotary chair when I see them…”

“…You don’t understand how bad I just want to punch you in the jaw right now, it is this song…”

“…Sturgis is amazing. They have these gigantic warehouse-sized bars that are basically open for ten days out of the year.”

“…Hey! Do you want some stickers? Do you want to register for ozzfest?”
“Nah, just wanted to come over and say thanks for rocking the Zeppelin, guys…”

“…What’s the secret in the secret sangria?”
“If I told you it wouldn’t be secret, of course…”

“…Good god the juice is loose up there…”

“…What the hell is this movie. British Batman? Beginneth! …”

“You are talking to the surliest woman in the world right now. Seriously the world. It is time to stop.”

Above quotes taken from PCH, SB & Ojai, Saturday-Sunday. Year two for us.