Has Anyone Seen NoSmell Bob?
(Note from the editor: We sent NoSmell Bob to a restaurant adjacent to the downtown greyhound line six weeks ago. We received a half review, photos and no details. If anyone – man, robot, dog – anyone – has any information as to the whereabouts of NoSmell Bob, please contact the Losanjealous offices immediately. Thank you.)
You are to review the breakfast menu at La Reyna. Downtown. 7th and Mateo.
La Reyna is not far from the downtown greyhound line. Ideally, you will be able to talk to some transient who just got off the bus and find out what brought them in to La Reyna. They have a faÃ§ade that touts “Grand Opening!” This verysame faÃ§ade looks to be at minimum 25 years old.
You are to order whatever the hell you want. Hopefully, breakfast.
You are to ask when the grand opening was, and what happenedâ€¦what you missed…if there was a djâ€¦balloonsâ€¦giveawaysâ€¦free food..etc.
You are to make as much conversation about the grand opening with the waitstaff as possible, mentioning that the grand opening sign was what drew you in. If necessary, pose as somebody who just got off the bus from Ohio.
You are to take a photo or two of the outdoor faÃ§ade and your meal. And if anybody you speak to allows their photo to be taken, that would be the icing on the cake. We are not necessarily looking for photos of yourself, but if you wear a tie we wouldn’t rule them out per se.
You are to wear a tie.
Good luck, NoSmell.
Some objectives were not met.
Here are some teaser pictures.
My photographer has learned some valuable lessons, and will be sure to shoot less of me, and more of the food next time. Its unfortunate, but comforting that he is 6 feet tall and looks like a cop. I ate two items from the breakfast menu.
La Reyna Grand Opening
Downtown By The Bus Station